Recent reviews by CarpetSample

EVERYONE HAS I MAED A GAM3 W1TH Z0MB1ES 1NIT!!!1, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, IT COST A DOLLAR ON YOUR F***ING XBOX, AND I HOPE YOU PAID

GO TO THE ARCADE AND DOWNLOAD IT FOR FREE ITS A FREE TWIN STICK SHOOTER THEY DONT EVEN CHARGE PEOPLE FOR IT (ANYMORE)

First thing, if they didnt include it in one of the hotfixes already, CHECK/ADJUST YOUR MEMORY POOL BUDGETS.

Yeah its buggy but its more of a "keep shadowplay on to catch the good ones" rather than "compulsively quicksave" if that means anything.
It's basically witcher 3 (npc interactions, minimap nav, sub "witcher senses" for "quickhack"), drives like ghost recon wildlands, (the type 66 Javelina and Shion Coyote are great for M+kb without excessive pendulum-ing) and I'd make a remark on the shooting but I made the mistake of dumping all my goodies into int/qh/breach so you just ping a floodlight and start chaining contagion off dudes through the walls from the other side of the block and it kinda breaks endgame so probably dont do that. Driving is definitely weird but the sensation goes away after a while and you get the hang of it and stop noticing. Lets try to remember R* has been doing driving for a long time over multiple titles with all the associated feedback, not so much CDPR and I think they did reasonably well despite it. Could be worse, could handle like (insert BR title here).

THE DETAILS THAT GO OTHERWISE UNNOTICED, holy cow. You knock the front bumper off the 930 turbo and they modeled in the oil cooler where its supposed to be (at least in the 70s) and some of the manifolds glow red as the revs climb, I mean the car design is incredible. I wish there were more but theres definitely quality over quantity as far as design goes and I'll definitely take that. We've come a long way since the abstract pseudo-engine bays in San Andreas.

I mean the game is great, its wonderfully made, but it doesn't make up for the baseline incompetence of others. Its a tragedy.

Worse hacking problem than GTAV. Can't play without some script kiddies spawning bears or explosions or teleporting everything around, and I just feel like an idiot for thinking it was going to be any different. Jokes on me.

Please don't buy this, spare yourself the shame. Don't make the same mistakes I did.

The beginning cutscenes/tutorials for Online are unskippable and when you add the persistent GFX errors and their ensuing troubleshooting, you WILL run well past the 2 hour limit before you get into the actual game. I'd wager this was intentional.

There's thousands of better ways to throw away 60 bucks.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ CHRIST I WANT MY MOMMY BACK

played the original Realtime Worlds release, didnt think it was that bad, this is pretty much the same with respect to the blatant hacking issue, ludicrous learning curve, trash matchmaking, cryptic progression, driving physics comparable to Crackdown meets GR Wildlands but more input lag meets taffy puller, inherently broken mission objectives,
but this time around, remove most of the customization/restrict primitives (nobody can hear you play Coke and Trees on repeat in the car anymore, "Wait who's listening to porn?"), add a P2W model the likes of which you've never seen, render LTLs unusable, harbor a toxic community, and you have Reloaded. Dump truck griefing was sort of remedied.....sort of...

Anyone who's looking to get into the game and wants to spend an extended amount of time playing keep a few things in mind.

-To start, to really get yourself prepared, Imagine GTA Online. Now imagine a Latvian bootleg version. Then, take everything you like about Latvian Bootleg GTA Online, and push it somewhere else. You now have APBR.
-Load times are still eternal - Ryzen7, SSDs, copious amounts of DDR4, you still have time to smoke 1 or 2 Marlboro 100s and heat up some bagel bites between district changes.
-Microtransaction model is heavily geared towards P2W. It's possible to get by WITHOUT it, but save some clutch for salvaging missions against botters. Keep a close eye out for timed access - dont go buying guns that expire after X time, you're going to have a bad time.
-Don't waste time in character customization. I know when you first start shaping your face it looks really neat and theres all sorts of sliders to play with, but as soon as that toon goes in game its going to look like a half melted muppet with textures akin to a N64 port. 1080ti, maxed settings, 4k or not, your dudes gonna come out looking like Mishkin from Goldeneye.
-Find some kind of wiki that breaks down progression/contact pledges.
-Press K to ready up and keep your expectations low.