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Years ago I used this guide, not sure if it still works (or if steam will let me post a link)
https://v1.steam.hlxgame.cc/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=748624905
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠤⠒⠒⠒⠒⠤⢄⣈⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠒⠝⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠲⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣢⠐⡄⠀⠉⠑⠒⠒⠒⣄
⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠋⠀⠀⠀⡎⢀⣘⠿⠀⠀⢠⣀⢄⡦⠀⣛⣐⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘
⡠⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⢅⠣⠤⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⡋⠙⠢⢄⣀⣀⡠⠊
⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠜⠁⠀⠉⡕⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠛⠉⠹⡄⣀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠑⠂⠤⠔⠒⠁⠀⠀⡎⠱⡃⠀⠀⡄⠀⠄⠀⠀⠠⠟⠉⡷⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠤⠤⠴⣄⡸⠤⣄⠴⠤⠴⠄⠼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⡎⢸ ⠉⠐⠢⢌⠑⢄ ⡸ ⡆ ⠣⠱⡀
⡇⢸ ⣀⠗ ⠉⠉⠁ ⠙⠢⠤⡀⢃⢱
⡇⠘⣄⢀⠔⠉ ⠈⠁⠘⡄
⢇ ⠁ ⠘⡄
⢸ ⢀⣀⣀⡀ ⢀⣀⣀⡀ ⢣
⡸ ⢴⣾⡿⠿⠽⠇ ⠘⠛⠛⠛ ⠈⢄
⠰⡁ ⢠⠒⠢⡀⠈⠒⠊ ⡠⢄ ⡘
⠱⣀ ⢀⠜ ⠇ ⢀⠔⠁ ⡏
⠑⠤⢄⣀⠔⠁ ⡜ ⠊⠁ ⢀⠜
Nevertheless, I pity this person because the path that they are on now is one of extreme isolation and loneliness. I would also not be surprised if they suffer from the "nice person syndrome" that is to say, They are left wondering why no egirl\boy they try to swoon will send them suggestive messages and/or the nudes they so desperately desire. I wish you the best of luck in finding a partner, but also feel sorry for the partner that'll undoubtebly be even more mentally unstable than you to be stupid enough to fall for you. +rep
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⣿⣿⡇⢸⢉⣙⠢⡉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⡔⣡⣾⡆⢣⢸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡇⠈⢸⣿⣷⣌⢢⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⡼⢰⣿⣿⣷⢸⠈⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣇⢸⢸⣿⣿⣿⡆⣷⣘⣋⣉⣭⣭⣭⣭⣴⣧⠘⠿⠿⠟⣸⠄⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡌⢌⣋⣉⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⠐⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡟⠡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠻⣿⡟⠋⠙⢿⡏⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⣿⣿
⢋⠥⠦⢤⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣏⠹⠃⡘⠛⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢹⣿
⠘⡆⠉⣿⣦⣍⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣴⡘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⠙
⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠿⠷⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣡⠌⣍⣀
⣿⡆⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠰⣧⡜⢒⠪⣩
⣿⣿⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣑⣒⣊⣩
The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200.
I like monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.
I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall.
Although humourous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.
Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.
I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.
I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.
I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.
I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately, there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.
I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.
I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them, but I could tell they were lying.
Ingrates.
So I punched them in the genitals.
I like monkeys.