Recent reviews by Bcock

I do not like this game and I am a hater

convinced everyone who likes these Team Ninja Dark Souls knockoffs is just lying to themselves because they're raging weebs

If you like aimlessly dragging balls around, this game is for you

I N V E S T

This game is the equivalent of biting into a Hot Pocket and realizing the middle is still ice cold. By far one of the buggiest games I've ever played. It's laughable that they still have "your choices matter" on the product page when the only choice that seems to make any difference to me is the one to uninstall this game and go play the first one again.

Pros
+ Dropkick

Cons
- Meaningless color-graded garbage loot
- Completely pointless RPG elements; who thought Dying Light needed classes like tank or medic?
- No ability to repair weapons
- No weapon crafting and no scavenging weapons from enemies
- Parkour feels slow and floaty rather than nimble and precise
- Night time feels tedious rather than dangerous
- Extremely spongy enemies
- Stupid characters, terrible voice acting, and a bad story; yeah, nobody played DL1 for the story, but at least it wasn't as aggressively terrible as this one
- Bugs everywhere; still can't claim pre-order weapons from the stash, t-posing vendors, survivor sense stops working, dismembered limbs floating in the sky, "dead" zombies with their heads missing walking around, enemies completely phasing out of existence or through solid objects, fluorescent blue placeholder models randomly appearing out of bounds
- Pointless factions which don't seem to actually care about what you do to/for them or each other
- A lot of skills either just don't work or don't do what you think they do; only two skill trees as opposed to the first game's three
- Needlessly scripted sequences that are completely awful; the sequence which connects the first to the second area is particularly atrocious
- Side quests are basically "go get this thing for this NPC with an obnoxious AI-generated voice so they'll stop screaming the same line to the wind every few seconds"

A homeless-looking man took my family to Seattle, where they labor in the basement of Bungie HQ, trapped until I buy enough Silver to repay my debt to the man. He has them endlessly grinding lost sectors in search of the Ballyhoo Mk.27 (Adept), like Ponce de Leon and his quest for the Fountain of Youth. $15 closer to their freedom.

State of the Game, August 3, 2023: “Lick our balls lmao”

I would really rather give this a mixed or neutral review, but here we are.

While the novelty of playing as a grotesque mound of flesh and tentacles has some staying power throughout the game, it's just... not that fun to play, all things considered. The creature and its movements are disgusting in a good way, but many of the accompanying gameplay systems leave a bit to be desired. Puzzles and combat encounters can only really be approached from one way, having to deal with the drones, mechs, and shield enemies is a complete slog, and it's far too easy to get turned around and lost. Sure, thrashing apart a group of hapless mooks after you spring from the floor is fun and the carnage you are capable of enacting is a relatively consistent measure of fun; it's the passages between those moments of destruction which are sorely lacking.

Cool artwork and music can't save this game from being an absolute slog.

Nothing about this game works or makes sense, but you get to listen to Mickey Rourke swear at communists for a little over an hour. 10/10