+/- rep called me a "cute little elf" and I'm not sure how that made me feel exactly

What's so funny about 'Homer Eroticus?' He has a wife, you know.

I didn't burn down any orphanages today and I think that's very merciful of me 😌

-rep sold me queer giraffes and made me taste his fingers for some reason??

+rep dyslexic and fown to duck

Nice legs! Daisy dukes! Makes a man go WHOOP WHOOP!

Hey, I heard there's a new Marvel out. Do you wanna go see it? Supposed to be pretty crazy. I heard it's literally driving people insane!

Ken Griffey Jr. YEAAAHHH

I slap the bass.
...
...
...
SLAPPA DA BASS!

Kevin James big naturals

♥♥♥♥ this gay town and everyone in it!

If I could fart
Into your eye
Do you think I'd
Give you pink eye?

'Cause you know I'd fart a thousand times if I could just... give... you...

Call me Scooby 'cause I can't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Doo this anymore.

So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

Imagine 2 corndogs. Hell... imagine 3 corndogs.

+rep undisputed winner of the tribble bread match

+rep master of the lasser masto

"Boy I tell you hwat, Mr. Myers - you don't waste time with words, you just get things done. I admire that about you. Have you ever considered a career in... propane?"

*gives you a honse*
*gives you a honse*
*gives you a honse*
*gives you a ho
*gives

Despite I'm a mage, I am still winning Rage in the Cage.

Have you tried the lasagna? It's my favorite.
Is it still hot out there?
Have you ever heard the phrase "blumpkin?"
Did you see that huge mess in the men's bathroom?
So what kind of freaky ♥♥♥♥ do you and your wife do in the bedroom?
Do you believe in second chances for murderers?
You know if you put enough salt and pepper on human meat, it tastes just like roast beef.
Do you know I got kicked out of the Barbie movie?
Do you know what a restraining order is?
Why do people make it feel illegal to have a foot fetish?

Alright.

-rep wouldn't have married him if I knew he worked for Big Mayonnaise

-rep I can still smell the wretched odor of his vehicular assaults

what time of food is sushi?

+rep it only took him 45 minutes to chicken the cook

"I tell you hwat, Mr. Ray. You may have the eyes of a killer, but you've got the heart of a Texan." - Hank Hill, Tower Unite

Sorry for misgendering the deer (it will happen again)

playin golfed with my friends. straight up "strokin it." and by "it," haha, well. let's just say. My bogey.

-rep wouldn't drink the shrimp water

Pansies are red
and sometimes they're blue.
Cops will shoot your dog
and your baby too.

Nah man, tell me why my animal crackers are AI-generated? 😭

I've got a tiny chainsaw in my pocket,
It's easy to start it but it's hard to stop it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

https://youtu.be/-vFWHUMM8aA

I'm not a real doctor, but I am a real fish.

They call me Dr. Fish.
Good morning, how are you? I'm Dr. Fish.

Told me all about his deck and cockpit

-rep smells Canadian

+rep eats cereal raw

apolgy for bad english

where were u wen 2v8 die ?

i was at house stalking laurie when phone ring

"2v8 is kil"

"no..."

Dearly beloved

Joe Biden deleted my dinosaurs :(

Hey, I just met you
And this is crazus
But here's my number
So call me Mabus

"Do I sound like a hotdog?"

What book?! I'm on the toilet! I'm taking a ♥♥♥♥! What are you talking about?!

I miss Greg...

Press down + Y to sandwich.

"That goalie was pissed about something."

*loops your heart for 5 gens*