I Sexually Identify™ as a piece of toast. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of having my naked doughy body being slapped into the toaster and being slathered with butter and jelly. People say to me that a person being toast is Impossible and I'm incredibly retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a baker put my fat, tender body into my toaster like the toast I so often dream about, equipping me with the crispiest form around. From now on I want you guys to call me "Sir Crispington" and respect my right to toast from above and crisp needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a doughphobe and need to check your baking privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.