Spawned in wearing a prison jumpsuit and shame.

Immediately punched a zombie puppet. Broke my hand. Bled out. Respawned 20 feet away.

Tried to craft a spear. Ended up with three sticks and depression.

Accidentally peed while crouching. Game applauded my hydration.

Ate 14 raw mushrooms. Vision went sepia. Trees started judging me.

Found a gun with no ammo. Found ammo with no gun. Found sadness with no cure.

Got chased by a bear. Climbed a rock. Bear also climbed rock. Realized this wasn’t Skyrim.

Discovered you can poop on command. Used it to assert dominance. Didn’t work.

Raided a bunker. Stealth mode on. Got gunned down by a mech with no chill and a PhD in violence.

Spent 45 minutes making a fire. It rained.

Tamed a chicken with my bare hands. Named it Gregory. Gregory got hit by a car.

Logged off with a full stomach, warm clothes, and a nice shelter. Logged back in naked and starving in the middle of a thunderstorm.

10/10

Spawned in wearing a prison jumpsuit and shame. Immediately punched a zombie puppet. Broke my hand. Bled out. Respawned 20 feet away. Tried to craft a spear. Ended up with three sticks and depression. Accidentally peed while crouching. Game applauded my hydration. Ate 14 raw mushrooms. Vision went sepia. Trees started judging me. Found a gun with no ammo. Found ammo with no gun. Found sadness with no cure. Got chased by a bear. Climbed a rock. Bear also climbed rock. Realized this wasn’t Skyrim. Discovered you can poop on command. Used it to assert dominance. Didn’t work. Raided a bunker. Stealth mode on. Got gunned down by a mech with no chill and a PhD in violence. Spent 45 minutes making a fire. It rained. Tamed a chicken with my bare hands. Named it Gregory. Gregory got hit by a car. Logged off with a full stomach, warm clothes, and a nice shelter. Logged back in naked and starving in the middle of a thunderstorm. 10/10