Unovans be like "ahaha, it's chewsday innit" yeah, i'll chew ya arms off ya daft c-

Unironically he is, in fact, that guy

What a real homie this is

Hello, I am currently 3 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there’s a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I’m different. On December 14th, I’m moving to Antartica; home of the greatest walruses. I’ve already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus

Wow. A person on the internet thinks I'm lame. Out of 7 billion people and out of the thousands of interactions I make every day both digitally and personally, this one should stick out to me and hit me in the heart, because you are so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ special your opinion speaks to me on a spiritual level. Out of the 80 years you have to live, and the 80 I have to live, we both took a few minutes out of our life, on a website as irrelevant as Steam. I salute you man. 64 billion years of complete random occurrences brought you here today to insult me because your opinion is so godforsaken relevant to my life and how I live it. You know what's actually lame? You. You're lame. You're lame because when all comes to all, you will make no real impact on the world, every action you take every day is pointless and instead of challenging the idea of "merely existing" you decide to reach out and give me an irrelevant piece of your mind. THAT is lame.

bloody and beaten, i was on my knees, in a pool of my own bodily fluids gasping for breath, i looked up and saw the massive berlin wall of a man that towered over me. little did he know, whether its the berlin wall or the great wall, all walls, must eventually fall.

"what the matter, boy, chicken?" said the man towering over me. he had white hair in a short, comb-over style, a very respectible beard, and a grotesque face that only a mother could love. it was none other than colonel sanders

"prepared to be fried, chicken boy. kentucky fried." colonel sanders kicked me in the stomach, and put his boot on my head, he was gradually pressing down harder and harder. i still had my head in the game, it was time to use it or lose it.

i mustered up all the strength and smashed colonel sanders in the face with my super starlight skyuppercut move. i hit him so hard, i sent him flying to saturn.

i looked at the sun setting on the horizion, and whispered to myself "im loving it"