fking noob

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He called me to his house to play CSGO. After i started gaming he said he is gonna take bath. 10 mins later I heard some weird nose and I turned back. To my surprise I saw him playing with his "D i C K" furiously while watching me play the game. When i realized this was a trap I tried to run. While i was running he tried to stop me by pulling down my shorts. By gods grace I had worn boxers that day. I ran for my life with my boxers. To this date I have not got my shorts back. I dont know what kind of sick things he might be doing with those shorts. Stay away from this horny f a g g o t.

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My mom said that my aunt died and that we are going to her funeral the next morning. As soon as she left the room crying I busted out laughing because it reminded me of among us a popular video game. So as we were riding in the car I was thinking about saying "dead body reported" at the funeral. When we finally arrived I screamed "dead body reported" everyone was looking at me like i'm some sort of a weirdo. Then I remembered that my grandfather's sister fell in the vents and died when she was 2 years old. So I said grandpa's sister sus she vented. My grandfather started crying and everyone was screaming at me instead of laughing. My mom took my x box and said that I am going to therapist tomorrow. Idk man my mom is acting kinda SUS