Recent reviews by Rip Kevin G

When other Dinos were partying
I studied The Blade
When you were having premarital sex
I mastered my parry
While you Dinos wasted your days at the watering hole in pursuit of water
I cultivated Inner Strength
And now that the world is on fire and the Kasei the Tyrant is at your nest you Dinos have the audacity to come to me for help?

My older coworker and I downloaded this game so that we can finally put to rest which generation is the future. Never the less we now know the winner... I should’ve known better than to talk trash to Mark. He didn’t brag. He didn’t posture. He just raised one eyebrow, sipped his black coffee, and said, “One match. You win, I’ll drop it. I win? You’re mine for the night.”
I laughed like he was joking.
He wasn’t.
Now I’m sitting next to him in the darkened IT lounge at the office, lit only by the blue glow of the projector screen and the LED strip lights lining the monitors. Everyone else had gone home. The quiet hum of servers buzzed faintly behind us. His coat was slung over the back of a chair, and his sleeves were pushed up to his forearms, revealing the kind of muscle you don’t expect from someone who runs network security. He booted the projectors and two computers like it was a ritual.
“Still time to back out,” he said, voice low, smooth as a late-night radio DJ. I shook my head, trying to look confident, but my hands were already sweating. “Not a chance. Been training for this all week.” He smiled—not cocky, but knowing. “Good. I like when they put up a fight.” We picked a silly game titled "Zoomers versus Boomers", something he claimed to be “rusty” at. He wasn’t. He read my moves like he’d memorized my inputs. Each round he edged me out with patience and precision. I landed hits. He punished mistakes.
Final round. Low health. One opening left.
I blinked—and he nailed the Boomer Bomb.
Game. Over.
My arms fell to my lap as the victory screen lit his face, all sharp cheekbones and quiet pride. He didn’t gloat. He didn’t have to. That look said it all. “Best of three?” I asked, trying to stall the inevitable. He leaned closer, one hand bracing the back of my chair, his voice right against my ear. “Nope. You agreed to the rules.” I didn’t move. Didn’t breathe. He let the silence hang between us, crackling with everything unspoken. Then he pulled back just enough for me to see his face. “You don’t have to come with me,” he said, and he meant it. “But if you do, I’m not playing slow.” I bit my lip. Every nerve in my body told me to be careful. Every ounce of curiosity told me not to walk away.
So I stood, grabbed my bag—and followed him out.

The first time I met Nicole, I was totally stunned by her character, the way she holds herself, doesn't take anything from the losers at our school. To be completely honest I thought she was kind of hot. It wasn't long before I saw her in my gym class, I couldn't keep my eyes off of her, I had to make my move. After everyone else had finished changing, I approached her. At first she was hesitant, but with a little charm I had scored a date. Later that night we met at the bowling alley and had an amazing time. Every time she bent over to throw the ball.. I just couldn't help myself. We ended up heading back to my place and she immediately began to undress, to be honest I was surprised at how easy going she was. Once we got into things, I guess I got a little too carried away. I accidentally strangled her too much.. but the police wrote it off as an autoerotic asphyxiation gone wrong. There was a lot of push back from the school board about whether I keep my job or not but in the end we came to a settlement and I was back to teaching P.E soon enough. I feel bad that her life was so short lived, I would have loved to see her again, she was amazing in bed.. and after she was out cold

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I made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement, and I don’t expect to be forgiven. I’m simply here to apologise.
What we came across in the woods that day was obviously unplanned. The reactions you saw on tape were raw; they were unfiltered. None of us knew how to react or how to feel. I should have never posted the video. I should have put the cameras down and stopped recording what we were going through. There's a lot of things I should have done differently but I didn't. And for that, from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. I want to apologise to the internet. I want to apologise to anyone who has seen the video. I want to apologise to anyone who has been affected or touched by mental illness, or depression, or suicide. But most importantly I want to apologise to the victim and his family. For my fans who are defending my actions, please don't. I don’t deserve to be defended. My goal with my content is always to entertain; to push the boundaries, to be all-inclusive. In the world live in, I share almost everything I do. The intent is never to be heartless, cruel, or malicious. Like I said I made a huge mistake. I don’t expect to be forgiven, I’m just here to apologise. I'm ashamed of myself. I’m disappointed in myself. And I promise to be better. I will be better. Thank you.

⠘⡀⠀Yes, I play NSFW games
⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀ on my main account,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀ so what?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I came, 100% the game, came again, refunded

Game looks like it could be fun and similar to Blade and Sorcery, but its just not that. The hit reg is very bad, and combat is lacking. Any enemy with a shield can be poked in the face or an enemy with a face cover can be poked in the legs three times to kill, and it becomes repetitive as normal combat hardly works with the current hit reg.

My favorite part of this game was when my neighbor asked me to help find his wife in the mine, so I went there, found his donkey instead, and took it back to him, but he said "oh, you found my wife, thank you!". Then he gave me a funny cigarette. I went home and smoked it and my dog turned into a girl and I banged her. But then in the morning she was a dog again and I had to wonder, did she really turn into a girl, or was I just really high and banged a dog?