Me: I'm tired but I wanna stay up.
Me: What do I do?
Friend: go to sleep with an erection
Friend: that way
Friend: you go to bed
Friend: and stay up
Friend: at the same time


Friend: my son
Friend: you must never forget
Friend: ass.


Friend: If it ♥♥♥♥, I can ♥♥♥♥ it.


Friend: the first ♥♥♥♥♥♥ shot
Friend: out of every ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ one killed my general for ♥♥♥♥♥ sake
Me: Sucks for you.
Friend: no it sucks for them couse now i am pissed off they will all die i will slater them all their will be no prisoners the women childeren the men all will die beforre me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friend: i will cut all their body parts off and mount the heads on stakjes
Friend: and i will pore hot oil all over them so their flesh melts off whell their alive
Me: Ooooook
Friend: sheash senti control your anger


Me: RIP Japanese fishing boaters [en.wikipedia.org] that got caught in the Castle Bravo [en.wikipedia.org] explosion.
Friend: 8) nuked japan three times
Me: omfg


Me: Kinda unstable though
Friend: meh, I got a lot of experience with unstable games
Friend: I'm playing an ubisoft game, for instance
Me: lmao


Friend: I like putting the babies in, not seeing them come out.


Friend: But my raging boner isn't a meme :c
^same friend as above^
Friend: Well, rip my ♥♥♥♥ off and post it to your wall then
Friend: It has seen worse places
^same friend as above^
(we were talking about weebs and furries in Germany)
Friend: Hitler would have done so much good
Friend: But no
Friend: Dumb americans bomb Japan and not Germany


Friend: If senty was a sub
Friend: Would that make him a Subwoofer
Me: Please die.