Recent reviews by SentientSoup

This is one of the most overrated games in the history of gaming. While the worldbuilding and concept is fine (because Kojima is an idea man) the actual dialogue, plot and scenes are nonsensical and juvenile. If you told someone with no conception of who Kojima is that this game was written by AI, they would believe you. Kojima is a sociopath with no emotional intelligence who doesn't understand human beings. His entire idea of human emotion is based around campy 80s movies he watched when he was young, which has resulted in a man we now put on a pedestal as an auteur, who really wanted to be a filmmaker but had to settle for games. This game's budget could have been allocated to additional professional writers, more game design, more mechanics, maybe even settlements where actual NPCs lead simulated lives or at least pretend to- this was not possible because millions of dollars were siphoned towards Kojima hiring a bunch of Hollywood actors instead to satisfy his ego and pad his network. What you get is a barren landscape, cities that are dead but SUPPOSEDLY have people living in them, who you will never see except in holograms, who need supplies desperately, even though these cities are completely unpopulated. You get identically sterile and lazy conversation popups instead of meaningful interaction. This is a game where its reputation wholly eclipses what it actually is: a walking simulator with gimmicky social networking elements, redundant cutscenes and blasphemously awful writing. This is all the worst parts of indie and AAA combined, sprinkled with profound stupidity masking as "japanese quirkiness," sold to you under a brand given human shape and a blank smile.

The endless reach of expanse that is Her Majesty's newly minted kingdom.

Horrors and enigmas await you- but mostly boredom.

It is a Kingdom of great mystery, savagery and cosmic, existential dread. It's many narratives trail alongside you like fellow steam trains, beckoning you over to their tracks- 'Come along, Captain! Isn't this story quite intriguing?' And you will invariably go 'Quite, yes. But only sometimes."

You'll be hurtling through this purgatorial space like a lost traveler, desperate for an autopilot mechanic or even something more engaging to do than steer, steer endlessly. You are strapped to the wheel of the ship during a storm and the game will batter you on the face with it's tediousness. I doubt most captains enjoy this sort of fetishistic torture.

Do not buy the Unseasoned Hours lest you enjoy being Eternally Bored.

The Queen will be fine without your sacrifice.

Citizen Sleeper is a surprising and rewarding experience. Much like its semi-mechanical protagonist, it initially presents itself as a combination of surface mechanics—tabletop inspired dice rolls and visual novel aesthetics—but beneath that shell contains a beating, pulsing heart of rewarding narratives as well as characters that live, work and strive for fulfillment on an interstellar ring full of dim alleys, gang-run lower class neighborhoods, corporate espionage and reclusive agro-farm communes.

Roll the dice and see what stories you'll fall into.

Because, Sleeper, you'll find a world more real than you'd expect.

I have played Street Fighter for nearly 70 hours.

I have never played a single match against a person.

My training will be endless. The lab is my dominion... my comfort zone. It is my prison.

My strategies, useless against live opponents. My consistency in performing trials, even lower than my frustration tolerance.

And yet, I persevere. I continue to exist like Shroedinger's noob. Skilled yet skillless. Experienced yet completely and utterly without expertise.

Bruce Lee flows like water. I sit like an ingrown hair.

Follow me on my journey as I reach 100 hours. Will I ever battle a live, human opponent? Will I be able to perform bread and butter combos with the fluency of someone who has actual, functional limbs? Or will I continue in this endless purgatory of paraplegic shadowboxing..

If anyone should find this, know that I was a good man. And that I tried to resist this as long as I could.

It's been three weeks since I encountered the fat lizard known as Great Jagras. In our first meeting, he swallowed a small dinosaur whole like a boiled egg.

While soaked in reptillian saliva and the cold sweat of fear, my main feelings were - and continue to be - disgust and intrigue.

This is Monster Hunter.

Featuring the sultry voices of Emma Stone, Lucy Liu and Kelly Hu. An undercover cop story set in the seedy, stir-fried underbelly of Hong Kong.

Think Guy RItchie with five spice.

Who would've thought Square Enix would ever make a game requiring subtitles for their accurate cantonese dialogue?

FAIF STAS!