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Apparently my attempt at getting the fortune you've amassed vicariously through your love child has fallen through.
But that's okay, because I found this awesome program that sells some product and pays me to find other people to sell it and find other salesmen.
If you join me now for a limited time, you can make 20% commission off of every sale any salesmen you recruited make!11!!!!
Sounds too good to be true? Don't worry. The company's selling Pyramids. There's always demand for Pyramids! Just ask Egypt!
Act now, and I'll throw in a Sham WOW free of charge.
I am pregnant with your lovechild.
The bad news is I am dying
The good news is, your baby boy will be a Nigerian Prince, and will inherit tens of thousands of dollars, if you simply send a money order to me for all the initial fees.........