SHREK THE THIRD




Written by

Peter Seaman, Jeffrey Price, Chris Miller & Aron Warner





Final Screening Script


INT. MEDIEVAL TIMES THEATER - NIGHT

A familiar beam of light shines down. The beam of light
descends onto a stage. Lightning flashes to reveal Prince
Charming riding his valiant steed Chauncey across the open
plains. The wind blows back his golden mane.

PRINCE CHARMING
Onward Chauncey, to the highest
room of the tallest tower! Where
my princess awaits rescue from her
handsome Prince Charming.

Lightning cracks. Thunder booms. Charming straddles a
wooden hobby horse and gallops in place. A stage hand uses a
bellow to blow air into Prince Charming's face. Another
stage hand turns a crank that creates the moving background.
In the orchestra, a man uses coconuts to create the sound
effects of a galloping horse. Two more stage hands back
stage create the cheap sound effects of thunder and
lightning. A crudely constructed castle tower sits in front
of a cheaply painted backdrop.

The Fairytale Creatures are sitting at a table in the
audience.

GINGERBREAD MAN
This is worse than Love Letters! I
hate dinner theatre.

PINOCCHIO
Me too.

Pinocchio's nose grows as he is caught in the lie.

Prince Charming rides to the base of the tower.

PRINCE CHARMING
Whoa there, Chauncey!

He dismounts and sets his hobby horse on the ground. He
strikes a dramatic pose.

A Princess leans from a tower window.

ACTRESS
Hark! The brave Prince Charming
approach-ith.

Prince Charming puffs his chest out.
Shrek the Third - Final Screening Script 2.



PRINCE CHARMING
Fear not fair maiden! I shall slay
the monster that guards you and
take my place as rightful King.

An old couple at a table look confused.

OLD LADY
(to old man)
What did she say?

Prince Charming glares as the bored audience largely ignores
him.

A man in a bad ogre costume comes onto the stage.

OGRE
Grrrrrrr!

The crowd erupts into applause. The Fairytale Creatures
cheer.

FAIRYTALE CREATURES
(CHEERING)
Woooo hoooo!!!

GINGERBREAD MAN
Yea! Shrek!

At first, Prince Charming is put off by the cheers for the
Shrek-like beast. He pulls his sword and confronts the
monster.

PRINCE CHARMING
Prepare foul beast to enter into a
world of pain with which you are
not familiar!

He is cut off as a waiter enters with a birthday cake.

WAITER
(SINGING)
Happy Birthday to thee.

PRINCE CHARMING
Do you mind?

Prince Charming hops out of the way when a chair lands on
stage. It slides past him and bumps into the tower facade.

GINGERBREAD MAN
Do you mind? Bo-ring!
Shrek the Third - Final Screening Script 3.



The audience laughs. Prince Charming glares at them and then
tries to recover. He points his sword at the monster again.
The tower facade starts to topple.

PRINCE CHARMING
(CLEARS THROAT)
Prepare foul beast-

Prince Charming looks over his shoulder and sees the facade
falling. He cringes.

The scenery slams against the stage, but Prince Charming is
unharmed, perfectly framed in the princesses' window. The
crowd laughs at the embarrassed Prince Charming. He shakes
his mangled sword at the audience.

PRINCE CHARMING
(shaking his sword again)
Someday you'll be sorry.

HECKLER
(O.S.)
We already are!

They laugh again. Prince Charming throws down his sword,
picks up his hobby horse and exits.

OGRE
Grrrrrrr!

The song and the laughter follow Prince Charming backstage.


INT. BACKSTAGE DRESSING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Prince Charming walks through a tunnel backstage that leads
to a door. The door has a star with his name written on it.
He opens it.


EXT. MEDIEVAL TIMES RESTAURANT - CONTINUOUS

Prince Charming sits at his broken vanity and sobs. His make-
shift dressing room is in an alley way next to the theater.

Horses whinny as a carriage passes by. The castle of Far Far
Away can be seen on the hill in the background. Prince
Charming breaks down and cries.

He looks up and sees a picture of the Fairy Godmother taped
to the vanity. "Don't stop believing! Mommy's Little Angel"
is written on the picture.
Shrek the Third - Final Screening Script 4.



PRINCE CHARMING
(HEAVY SOBS)
Oh mommy.

He weeps again and then looks back at the picture. A
determined change grows across his face.

PRINCE CHARMING
Oh, you're right. I can't let this
happen. I can't.

Prince Charming looks at the castle on the hill. His
expression hardens. He stands and faces the castle. He
holds his chin up high.

PRINCE CHARMING
I am the rightful King of Far Far
Away and I promise you this mother.
I will restore d