This is my girlfriend. Don’t add her, don’t message her—She’s not here for your attention.

Salt had a head the size of a beach ball, and his hairline looked like it was running from a crime scene. When he spotted the Rape victim, the 24-year-old gigachad, in the park, he decided this was the moment to make his move.

“My rape victim!” Salt boomed, his voice echoing. The victim looked up, eyes widening at the massive dome of Salt’s head.

“Uh, hey?” The Rape victim said, stepping back slightly.

Salt, oblivious to the discomfort, reached out and placed his enormous hand on Jew’s shoulder, like he was testing if it would crack under the weight of his cosmic skull. “I have... wisdom. My head holds secrets of the universe,” he said seriously, his hairline giving up entirely.

The rape victim awkwardly laughed. “I’m good, dude. I don’t need forehead wisdom.”

Salt blinked, looking hurt for a moment, then nodded sagely. “It’s okay. You just weren’t ready.”

And with that, he waddled off, leaving the rape victim to process the surreal encounter.

✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅
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✅✅✅✅✅⬛⬛✅✅✅✅✅
✅✅✅⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛✅✅✅
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✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅

Figgn?

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა
./づᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊°