This one is a cool one too...
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Green-Laser-Flashlight-Remote-Laser-Starry-Sky-Laser-Long-Beam-Shooting-Pen-Driving-School-Pointer-Sales-Building-black/15690366767?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=102481828

Again, we're gonna miss you, buddy.

Today Charles would have been 42 years old. Its a shame he got took a bunch of molly and fried his eyes with the world's most powerful laser ( https://biglasers.com/product/gravitas-15w-high-power-blue-laser-15000mw/?srsltid=AfmBOooLFIGFoPCdwWNcvOt-rXcMt-TG2mvWoKy9_10jTmaU9u0n1dTAx08 )...

We're gonna miss you. buddy.

See you in the next life buddy.... :(

You've come so far

A short Story

A slight gust of wind whispers a weary whistle outside as I toss and turn.
“No!” I shoot up from an uneasy slumber.
My hand, reaching up to my chest and gently grazing the top of the scars.
“How long has it been?” I pause, “Why can’t my body forget?” I mutter to myself, while reaching for the clock near my bed.
“3:15 AM,” I sigh. Another sleepless night, I think to myself.
“Doubt I can sleep now.” I swivel on my bed, my feet slowing coming in contact with the cold wooden floor of the bedroom.
I live alone, I don’t think I’ll be having any housemates for a while. I hardly trust myself while I sleep as is. I step out of the room to the stark darkness outside in the hall. A brief moment of hesitation shot through me. I shake it off and make my way down the hall towards the bathroom. The one conveniently placed near my kitchen, perfect for those nights you want to smell ♥♥♥♥ while eating.

I walk in and flick a switch, not bracing for the blinding light that followed. I wince and mutter “♥♥♥♥,” under my breath.
I, stupefied by the light, slap my hand around the faucet, trying to find the hot water. Eventually I’m bet by the bubbling hiss of the water, and the gurgle of the pipes below. I hunch over and splash some cold water. God forbid I get some lukewarm water.
I finish up in the restroom and head out to the kitchen.
The light is on.
“Hmm,” audibly puzzled by the light. I could have sworn that I had all the lights off.
I shrug it off and head to the fridge. As I reach for a bottle of water, I feel a bug bite the nape of my neck - naturally I swat at the back of my neck. Look at my hand to confirm my kill.
Nothing.
Again, I shrug it off. I continue rummaging in the fridge, the plastic packaging always puts up a fight with me. Especially when I’m thirsty at night.

I sigh audibly once again and finally get a bottle loose. I crack open the cap with a slight twist.
I bring the bottle up to drink the freezing -
“What the fu..” I manage to mutter as my vision blurs. The last thing I see is the ceiling of my apartment, the light above making me squint.
I could have sworn I turned that damn thing off.

I start to come to. I hear something akin to singing, it’s so airy and forced. Soon I realize that I can’t move my arms - I snap back to it. I swing my head around, I’m in my bedroom. The light on the ceiling is on, how the hell? I think to myself before realizing that all of my things are gone.
“Wha -” I manage to gasp, throat dry beyond words. Literally.
The singing, now more audible, comes to a slow and deliberate stop. The voice off to my left, just out of sight, exhales slightly out of their nose. Kind of like how you do when you see something funny on your phone. I crane my neck to my left as far as I can. Nothing.
I give the right a shot too. Nothing.

Air of panic clearly sneaks it’s way into my lungs. I don’t attempt to hide it.
“What do you want?” I attempt to shout, sounding more like a wheeze.
Nothing.
I manically swing my head left and right, trying to spot the voice again.
I’ve only noticed now, but the edges of my room are strangely dark. As if a curtain separates me and my walls.
I mustered a “What the hell is this?!” Assuming that I am being robbed.
“Just take my money and get out!” I try to reason.

“No. No, no, no, deary.” A weak, airy voice hisses from in front of me, yet, all around me.
Chills strike me like a bolt of lightning. Who the hell is this? What the hell is going on? Am I dreaming? All of these thoughts loiter in my mind as I frantically snap my head left, right, up and down.
Now realizing I’m strapped into my chair from my kitchen. I try to break from the bindings behind my back. No luck, it feels like cables are wrapped around my wrists.
In my panic I didn’t realize that there was light taps on the wood behind me. This ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is walking up behind me. I freeze in place and just listen.
An aroma, indescribable, infects my lungs. I can’t stop smelling the delicious air blanketing me. Sniffing, huffing - call it what you will. I wanted to gnash my teeth and tear into the air around me.

What in the world is going on..?
The steps. I forgot about the steps behind me. I winch my neck every and any way that I can to try and catch a glimpse at this person behind me. Again, no luck.
I suppose I was too caught up in trying to see behind me that I had not noticed that now, sat in front of me, a table. A little collapsable wooden one. You’ve probably seen these at your Grandmother’s place.
A little rag was draped over the table. Little lumps and bumps visible beneath, systematically placed, to avoid sticking to one another.

to avoid sticking to one another. I catch myself repeating that in my head
Panic stabs me like a cold knife. I could have sworn the sweat on my head was going to freeze.
The smell, still enveloping me, takes my attention again. Palms, clammy, I bunch my fingers into a fist.

“Ah. So they’ve caught your attention, have they?” The mystery voice whispered once again. Trying to sound sweet. The rag covering the table snatched away, by nothing into the darkness.
On the small table now sat a small tray.
“No.” I say, bottom lip quivering, tears welling up in my eyes.
The voice, now behind me, “Yes, sweetheart. I made your favorite.” Warmth claps my hands behind me.

They’re touching my hands. They’re HOLDING my hands. So gentle. These hands are so kind, so sweet. I found myself feeling comfort hug me. As if I had been hugged by a loved one.
Suddenly. A slice, my hands drop free of my bindings.
I stand up and turn on a dime.
Nothing. Nobody.

I’m greeted by the drapes of shadows surrounding my room. I didn’t realize, but I was walking backwards. My backside bumps into the small table, causing it to teeter on two legs. I swiftly caught the tray as if it was going to fall. Now realizing what I was doing -
Before I can complete a thought, the voice. The voice, once again in front of me, yet somehow all around calls, “Go ahead, pumpkin. I made them special for you. Your favorite. Buttermilk -”
“- Flake Cookies.” I suddenly finished the voice’s sentence. A bead of sweat runs down my forehead. The beautiful smell of heaven, now everpresent, almost lifts me off of the ground - like in the cartoons.
In a flash; I find myself, eyes blurry, scarfing the cookies down.
Crumbs, tears, saliva flying every which direction. I moan to myself as I revel in the sensations engulfing me.

Bliss. Oh, how I’ve missed this sensation. I’ve been so long without it.
Before long, I find my hand running across the tray before me. Barren.
The voice, which I now can recall, was singing suddenly stops, “Oh. Have you eaten them all already, dear?” A brief pause, as if I can even respond with this food in my gullet.
“No worry, my little snickerdoodle.” Now behind me. I snap my neck backwards.
There it sat.
Another tray, fresh and calling my name. Like a hound, I run over to it, on all fours. Practically leaping on to the mound of delicate clouds. Once again, ignoring my clear dehydration, I lose all control. The smell, the flavor, the sensation, the feel. Everything blanking my mind.
Those ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cookies.
I know I was forgetting something. Something deep, deep down inside of me.
A slight chuckle escapes the shadows surrounding me. “Have you finally recalled, sweetie?” the familiar voice mocks.

Me, being too caught up in consuming my body weight in the delights, say nothing.
“I know how you’ve missed them. My sweets, my babies.” The voice paused once again,
“My Buttermilk Flake Cookies.”
Immediate euphoria clutches my body. I immediately ♥♥♥. Over and over again, the feeling takes control of me. I begin to tear at my clothes, shredding my shirt off to reveal the message scrawled across my chest.
Through tears and crumbs I mumble, muffled, “The most gentle hands east of the Mississippi.”
Animal instinct forces my hand at the cookies, grabbing handfuls and crushing them all over my chest. Massaging the love into my skin. Into my scars.
After hours of cookies, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and crying. I pass out.

I wake up in the ditch from before - many years have passed since this horrid place. Naked, shaved, tanned and lips blistered. I tilt my head down, the scars traced once again. Bloody, naked and furious with myself, I make it back to my place. I crawl into the shower and cry for what felt like hours. At least I have warm water this time.
“The best cookies east of the Mississippi,” creeps its way out of my gasps, whimpers and senseless muttering.

! ! ! ATTENTION 2004 KIDS ! ! ! This 👇 is the last year of being a kid 👦👧! Because NEXT 👉YEAR! We gon be T33N4G3RS💁💅!! PARTYING 🎉💃 DRINKING 🍻🍸🍹🍷 MAKING OUT AND SEX 👅💦O_O PERIODS ☹🍫 HEARTBREAKS 💔☹ MIDDLE SCHOOL SOPHOMORES (7️⃣TH GRADE)

👉👈 _Raven

Boipusi

Recently I had been walking through a park a little while east of the Mississippi. It was late at night, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being followed. Every little bit I'd turn to look over my shoulder and catch a glimpse of something in the deep shadows of the road.
"Hello?" I call. I get no response, so I brush it off and continue on my merry way.
Little did I know, it was not going to be merry for much longer. Still shaken from the event from two years ago. I find myself picking up the pace and trying to get home quicker. I soon end up near a ditch - a flash of memories hit me. I place my hand on my chest and remember the scars left behind, my back tenses up as I remember those aswell. After a short moment, I feel a hand on my shoulder, before I can turn around to see who it was, a napkin covers my mouth and nose.
I pass out.

What feels like moments later, I wake up. Sitting at a kitchen table with a tray sitting in front of me. The tray is draped with a rag - an out of place, christmas themed rag. There is one light above me, slightly swaying with the breeze rolling in from the window to my left. I hear a floorboard snap into place under someones weight. I looks around frantically and notice I'm not bound down, so as I try to stand... I can't...
Something it keeping me down, a familiar feeling... No.... Please.... Not again. Not him. Not this.
"Care for some cookies, sweetheart?" A slightly airy voice speaks to me from the unlit corner of the kitchen.
"Why are you doing this?!" I beckon.

"Because. I know you've missed them. My sweets. My babies." The voice paused, "My buttermilk flake cookies."
Without a moment to waste, its as if my body was moving itself, I reach for the rag covering the tray in front of me. I rip it away, and to no surprise, the cookies littered the tray before me.
Almost in tears, I grab a handful and begin to stuff my face. I instantly came in my pants. I begin to cry like a child as I fill my gullet with the beautiful cookies.
"Yes. Just like that." The voice says from the shadow.
I pay no attention to is as I begin to tear my clothes off of myself to reveal the scarred message across my chest, "The most gentle hands east of the Mississippi."

I grab handfulls of the flakey cookies and crush them and rub the crumbs arcoss my bare chest.
"I knew you missed them so." The voice said, now behind me.
I feel cold frail hands run up my back, grazing my scars, and stopping at my shoulders.
I continue to ♥♥♥ all over myself as I take in the marvel that are these cookies.
After what felt like hours of shoulder rubbing, non-stop ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and endless cookies. I pass out.
I wake up in the ditch from before. Naked, shaved, skin tanned and blistered along with chapped lips. The scars seem to have been traced, bloody and naked. I make it back to my place. I crawl into my shower and begin to cry,
"The best cookies east of the Mississippi."

I hate you

spread your cheeks and lift your sack

Had an x-ray done today and they found you in my heart. The doctor said if they took you out, I would die, because I could not live without such an amazing friend. Give this heart to everyone who you don't wanna lose in "2016" including me if you care. Send this to anyone who made you smile this year.

Had an x-ray done today and they found you in my heart. The doctor said if they took you out, I would die, because I could not live without such an amazing friend. Give this heart to everyone who you don't wanna lose in "2016" including me if you care. Send this to anyone who made you smile this year.

late night jams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsKSObDg9EY

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7:44 PM - Commander of Delight: I'm the real Slim Jommy

They grow up so fast

He made me some buttermilk flake cookies. I ate the whole batch-boy howdy, were they good. They were so good I found myself crying more, and more with every bite I took. I felt as if the cookies that I was talking in were godsend. I ate, and ate until there was no more. As if it was magic he brings another fresh, warm and mouth-gasm inducing cookies that were produced by the most gentle hands east of the Mississippi. I ate the tray...where the ♥♥♥♥ did these cookies come from? I felt compelled to ask but I was so full of cockies that when I asked all that came out was moaning, tears, and crumbs. I found myself waking up in a ditch 6 AM...east of the Mississippi, clothes gone, hair shaved, skin tanned, and blistered, chapped lips. I find my way home...EaSt Of THe MiSsissPpi, I waLk To tHe bAtHRoOM, LooK iN ThE MiRror, anD SeE SCriBbleD AcroSs mY NuDE ChEst...THE MOST GENTLE HANDS EAST OF THE MISSISSIPPI-oN My bACK ScrAWled wAs thE ReCipie For tHe BesT ♥♥♥♥ EasT oF tHe MissIssPpi