Recent reviews by RandomGuardian

It took me 9 hours to beat OFF to total completion.
Honestly, it's been over a decade since I last beat OFF, so going back to do the deed felt satisfying, like a sweet release.

The game clearly exists to give Fangamer another quirky RPG Maker game to sell merchandise of, and I'm sure the fan base is going to be flooded with those Deltarune children types, but I appreciate giving the game another moment in the spot light. It deserves it. Beating OFF is an experience everyone should enjoy.

There's lots of tiny changes, but the heart and soul is still there. The secret bosses and side bar art are done in the creators current style with sort of clashes with the original, but the side bar art is optional and the bosses are supposed to be otherworldly so it all works out. The music is everyone's biggest sticking point but it's serviceable. I actually like how the battle music changes with each zone. Starts out swing and ends full blown industrial with the climax of Zone 3. Makes the uncanny differences and loss of Peper Steak all worth while to me.

If the loss of the OST is that painful, you can still beat OFF for free with the original. But if you're new to the game, there's no harm in starting here.

I listened to Jack scream "SIT UP STRAIGHT" and "TOUCH GRASS" for two hours before I realized he was talking to me personally.
Thanks for the posture check bro.
10/10 - Would hit the gym with Mullet Mad Jack

This game is gonna take you back to the past.
To 2014, with the 4chan memes that suck ass.
I'd rather live - back in my youth - where everything was carefree, edgy, and queer.
I'd rather like - to visit Dana's bar - to take my memories and drown it with beer.
This nostalgia has caused me a great pain.
This is a visual novel game.
This is a dated indie-dev game.
This is the cyberpunk bartender game.

The Big Lebowski of video games.

Major game devs WISH they could have HALF the positive review ratio this game has.

Peak RPGMaker game. If it existed a decade ago, it would have blown the competition out of the water as a pillar of the genre. Contains the perfect amount of atmosphere, edge, cringe, survival horror, and brutality. Always walking the fine line without fail. "Fair game design won't save you here" indeed.

Oh boy, talk about about an identity crisis.

Changing Valentines colors? Red Cross made me do it!
Purging Mike Z from the game? He deserved it I bet, for sure!
Lengthening the skirt of highschool girls? Makes sense, we're better than that.
Removed the "Barely Legal" joke from 18-hit combos? It's really nothing, no one cares.
Removing red armbands from nationalist jackboot soldiers? Sure, they weren't really NatSocs...
Modifying certain bondage scenes to make them less horny? I mean, it's not that important...
Purging the concept art and art gallery of said imagery? Uhhhhh, that a bit far...
Censoring Big Bands story from technically cop-on-black violence? Compromised vision for sure...
Pulling decade old guest art from the game? That's a jerk move.
But deleting the Soviet Announcer voice pack from existence?
How far down the slope can we go?

A great port! Don't let the predatory halves-sold-separate scheme fool you. They actually cared about this product. They didn't have to take their 2 decade old game and add online chip trading, or ranked multiplayer, or working optional pixel-smoothing, or a cute 3D megaman.exe that greets you every time you boot up the game. But they did.

9/10 - The font is in Times New Roman but it fits the style

I'm not sure what an honest review of Dorf Fort would be. The numerous colony sim successors may technically look and play better, but if your serious about consuming video games as a hobby, you have to give this game a try. You might just be playing it for near a decade like I have. And let's be real. If you're reading this review, you probably will.

Verdict? 4/5 Stars*

*I have to detract a point for the fact that, at this rate, The Big Toad is going to croak before he's done coding all the planned features. Took him 1.5 years to add organizations and villians, nearly 2 years to make a "graphical" version. The magic and myths update should be ready by 2025...

I decided to help this struggling indy developer by buying a cool Gwent play board for 20$. It also came with a nice little single-player expansion called Rogue Mage.

It's clear that after Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales sold poorly, CD Projekt Red was afraid to give Gwent projects any sort of budget, but I still enjoyed it anyways.

After more than a decade, it's good to be back.

Protip 1:
If your game runs like a 20-year-old freeware 4:3 forced-resolution pile of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, try the following. Join a server running the ET Legacy mod, wait for the download to finish, set custom resolution to your liking, type "set cl_renderer opengl2" in console (the ~ key) and press enter.
Protip 2:
If you want to look for real players, try the following. In the server browser, highlight a server and click the server info button, then scroll down. Bots will have 0 ping.