- Served 3 years as Kroger Bottle Return Manager
- Nine years puerto-rico jiu jitsu (you probably don't know so don't bother asking...)
- I have a class B truck license (was an enhanced cdl but I have 13 and a half DUIs so it's gotten revoked until 2028) trucker related questions roight this way please.
- two months special agent camp in Barberton Ohio before admitted to a nightmare division in the special forces agents somewhere in Afghanistan that I cannot disclose until Gen. Craig Frostner shoots it down my chain of command.
- used to daytrade professionally through CMEG but made a lot of money so I'm just bathing with my kids.
- let's say I have some nerdy computer hacker friends; nuff said.
- say any stupid remark about me smoking cigarettes or needing frequent smoke breaks; expect a power outage.
- Bowling Champion 8 years in a row
- Bowled multiple all strike games
- Powerful mastery of pipe-bomb making
- can speak fluently in ancient hebrew and pig latin
- was on wall street during the recession, it was awesome
- 39 different court cases in my lifetime (one currently ongoing)
- Elite level gambler, 90% correct prediction rating
- Was a bookie in a past life
- Played as a mascot in high school football and graduated to become head mascot at a local carwash for 2 years.