Recent reviews by BeachedSeaTurtle#1

Like it, great game, no more spinning bowling alley kills like in Chivalry, but, I have one question; what's the deal with the 200$ mystery poo box??? At first I was like, ok, you got me, everyone gets a poo ball first for 200 effing gold coins but, it keeps sh*tting poo balls!!! Wth, is that dragon poo? Some weird fetish? Chivalry is dead

Cheeze cake

Alright, I love to believe I am a bit of a space cowboy myself who got caught with a real job and back pains. So I've seen this game before and kinda wanted to try. Back pains in full force, I'm off from my real life job, this game has a 10% off: the pretext I needed, hell I can reimburse the f*** if I need to, thinking about it lemme reimburse the other ...

So download this, close the pun*sher on netfl*x, start the game... ttt'rrrtthututh wwweeerrkrishkrishkrish! Oh I love this already. Ok, story mission it is, great intro story, start my thing, nothing to do but hauling stuff, oh! some shaddy deal that got me some decent money! Ok so the story made me change parts in the beginning so I buy 1 parts of everything. Oups, well it didn't work like I thought it was, ok, oh ok! Lemme slap more stuff into modules it clearly show me It goes faster! Anyway, I'll probably explode in a few so let's go.

Looking at my bank account it kinda goes up, but I need something big. I run into that woman who start talking about, she got caught in a run where she smuggled a bomb, and she talks about terrorists and then talk about she's gonna get caught she didn't know and I kinda feel for her, ok honey, I'll be your space cowboy to the rescue, beside, she's talking about 6000, 6, thousands! Ok, this is too good to be true, what!? THEY KNOW YOU'RE HERE and and and I'm probably flagged already you d*mb b*tch!!! Oh! 10k you say... hrmmm

[ ] f*ck off I'm out
[x] WE GOTTA GO NOW NOW NOW!!!
enter

Ok! here we go! bing bing bing close the doors, switch monitors, ready the ship up, undock quick where the f*ck am I going must be around that quadrant since the sector is over there... WEEEP WEEEP WEEEP! ... WEEEP! WEEEP! WEEEEEP! Alert! Alert!...

I slam the throttle into that nebula to get cover, make a sharp turn and BOOOM put it in neutral (stealth mode or something) ... I am now alone with the torpedo pinging sounds and a blank navigation screen...

beeep beeep! ... beeeep beeeep! BEEEEEP BEEEEP! oh god I'm dead ... BEEEEEEEEEEEP! BOOOOOOOOOM! ....

I'm not dead!.... beeep beeep.. oh god...

So after the beeping stopped which was probably launched(at least 2, maybe 3) when I was still visible before the sharp turn, I turn everything on thinking, that's it, they'll be on top of me, overplayed this again you d*mb rock...
*ruuuthututhrbbbbrup booting ... memtest ok ... online* (man that loading screen where your system reboot and you are clearly in distress... priceless) I could still navigate! but my stuff was clearly damaged, managed to plot a destination to the jump gate and... AAAAND what did I do since I'm a space hot shot!? I'VE PUT IT IN NEEEUTRAL yes!

I know I got about 4 minutes till destination so I don't compress time, altho I'm sure it wouldn't work since hostile are close by, and I just cruise in there, going right thru a planet, if I was a religious guy and I would be in that ship, I would've prayed, like, reaaally prayed, full devotion biblical ♥♥♥♥.

So I'm cruising in and I can't find my damn phone to check the time you know it's critical, I find the phone, but I don't know how much time passed really so I figured about 1 min +-... wait, wait, ok I can pee meanwhile, so I go pee, come back check the time... alright! time is about right, but, no, check my internal clock and I'm telling myself 30 more seconds so I START COUNTING IN MY HEAD no joke I'm telling it like It happened. so 3,2,1 OK ACTIVATE EVERYTHING REACTOR SENSORS HELM... booom! riiiiight before the godamned gate people! riiiiight before it, so boom jump in the gate, oh did I tell you some bomb went off while I was drifting toward the gate and it took out my sensor ENTEIRELY!@#

So now I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥, I'm out of here, I won, but I'm lost, I'm in the right sector, I got that poor woman out of harms way but we're lost! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, I'm safe, but I'm blind!

I've jumped inside of a croissant of a nebula so I can still navigate, so I tuck in the nebula at the thickest point I can see, shut down everything, I'm now a big pile of scrap for anyone who would look around... remember those spare parts I bought in a frenzy? Oh boy! OOOOH BOY!! Well, I managed to cannibalize a good portion of a battery, the COMMS and some stuff I swear I didn't have 1 useful spare part left so I must've used some of the 1 Ive bought earlier, so I manage to get the sensor back online (YEEEEEEE BOOOOOOIII!) and plot a course to the station she wanted to be dropped and,

Well I'm 10k richer now, b*tch, and saved a life, virtual one but I mean, yea, did the right thing.
10/10 would help terrorists associate again!

It'd be, awesome, like " that " big, awesome like that if, we would, you know, have a LINUX build, PUSH THE BUTTON see what that do

MERICA ♥♥♥♥ YEAH pew pew pew

Best, Game, Ever! I mean, you feel like you are on the battlefield, the fight is real, the sound is one of, if not the best I've seen... no dude, really, just buy this.

I just feel robbed, shadowrun on the genesis is on my top list of game I've most enjoyed of all the game I've played, but this? Don't listen to critics, all lies... seriously, I highly doubt this is from the originals crew that made the originals games, an insult to the name shadowrun... all I see these days are half baked if not a quarter baked games licenced to jobbers to get your nuyens... THEY STOLE MY GODAMNED MONEY THIS IS ANOTHER BAD JOKE FROM WHOEVER BOUGHT THE FRANCHISE... original crew... right