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... I'm having a fight with gravity. Right now I'm losing.
...God is trying to kill me by blowing my house away with a tornado, so I'm watching the weather to see how soon I need to leave...
...I'm as dry as a dead dingos donger and I went to get an ice cold beer...
...this is just where I spawned. I'm now kicking holes in my wall because, once again, someone I had dead to rights pwned me after I emptied a clip into him without a single hit registering.
... I just came from playing BF2BC2, and the Modern Warfare 2 maps are inducing claustrophobia....I can't breathe.....omg....this is it...this is the end...wait a minute, did I spawn in a closet?
....my wife is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ at me for a number of different reasons, the gaming being at least four, and I'm not dumb enough to keep playing while I nod and agree with her that I'm a scumbag....
...there is a chopper hovering outside, and some of us don't have Cold Blood yet, idiot.
...I just ducked in here to read a link someone sent me with a bunch of jokes about why he's using a noobtube...
...but I did just save a bunch of money on my car insurance by calling a Harrier strike on the Geico building...
... I just spilled a litre of cola on my keyboard and am currently trying to suck it out with a straw.
...my mouse's battery is dying, and I gotta swap it out, which is why I didn't kill those three guys camping in the front room who neglected to sweep the building. But it only takes a moment to resync....
...I stepped on a butterfly and I'm trying to make him fly again.
...I've been sitting in this chair, playing this game for eighteen hours with only a few breaks. My ass itches, and I've stopped in here to scratch.
.... some joker tied my boot laces together and I fell down here. I'm waiting for backup to give me cover so I can untie them.
...my guy lost a contact during the last airstrike and we're trying to find it.
...I'm hiding in here because I contracted Vampirism from USA Savage, and sunlight is deadly to me now.
...I used to live in this building, and I'm looking for the nickel I lost in '02.
…I’m lost, and I’m consulting a map. Unfortunately, someone keeps bombing the gas station so I can’t ask for directions.
…I’m ambushing you, disguised as a camping soldier.
…I am so stoned I have forgotten what game I’m playing and I’m trying to remember which button opens the menu. My repeated failures are beginning to provoke an anxiety attack...
…I’m having one of my daily flashbacks from the War, so I’m hugging cover like it’s Katie Perry’s tits and crying and peeing and praying.
…one or more of my kids is/are tattling, fighting, screaming, bleeding, getting spanked, setting something on fire and laughing maniacally while the neighbors scream, etc. Kill me all you want.
…I’m passed out drunk, and my game guy is now utterly petrified at the lack of control.
…it’s the strategic and tactical defense of very temporary covers that happen to progress around the map every time I die because I was dumb or lag was out to get me.
…I’m actually free-running, but mostly with my stomach or knees, with occasional short naps and firefights.
…I’m rolling a joint, so I don’t care what you think, and I’ll care even less in a minute.
…I’m trying to shoot through the bottom of the map at players on other servers. On those servers, yes, I am camping.