Recent reviews by Melodramatic Toe

If Team America: World Police were a game.

First off let me begin by saying, Ubisoft, If you really want to screw us that much can we at least ask that you use a little lube... We are starting to get sore :(

The community knows what the 7 core factions are: Humans, Elves, Dark Elves, Demons, Wizards, Undead and Orcs so can you please, PLEASE stop releasing piecemeal games. I for one am tired of it. If you want to add others, like Naga glorifying the flowing grace of Shalassa or a return of the dwarves as worshippers of Arkath or even some mysterious new faction who turn to the impetuousness of Ylath in the abscence of the humans then go right ahead. We only ask that you add them as extras, hell even as DLC, I know I'd jump on that like a bunny with hiccups.

HAVING SAID ALL THAT... Credit where it is due, in its current state Heroes VII is a vast improvement over its predecessor and pretty close to to it's far superior ancestors: Heroes III and V (I haven't played IV so apologies to all the fans. Personally my favourite of all time was II)

So all in all, its perfectly fine, and quite a nice bastion of safety for those disillusioned with Heroes VI. However, Ubisoft, if you are going to make an VIIIth installment (and lets face it, you will) could you at least heed my words and the words of a great number of the community, and do it right!

Good Lord....

With the hype and all the rest of it I was literally counting the days till release... Now I wish I'd watched paint dry or even grass grow, at least it would've gotten me outside.

Beck handles like a drunken elephant in a store selling delicate china... I decided to crank up the lives per level all the way to 9 and even then just barely got past Pyro with no lives to spare.

If a racoon could get into 3d modeling this would be the product.

If you need me I'll be on my SNES emulator...

Such cute
Very depth
Wow
Much Early Access

12/10 Woofs

This game is a fine young scamp and make no mistake!!! Combat got a bit repetitive though, still: 3 chimneysweep's brushes out of 5. Would definitely trick an audience into thinking I could act again

Fantsatic little time burner for a lazy afternoon... Plenty of challenge even in the easier modes so tons of fun to be had.