Recent reviews by Keyrala

Thanks to this game i know how it is to have a male reproductive organ.

The devs purposedly made the menu to start a game as slow as humanly possible, where you forced to watch cutscenes and wait until it reads you the name of the game.
There is a versus mode that don't work because the movement keys are disabled (for both players) and the attack keys for player 1 controls attacks for both players at once too.
Some arenas works on 30 fps, others on 60, another works on 60 but feels like 25 fps.

The roll not only to dodge but to move faster than the run key, you have a run key which is pointless because it always leads to getting hit for free, also every time the enemy rolls through you, you're stuck in an animation where you need to turn to the other side, since the computer does that all the time you're like most of the time trying to figure out when you're going to be able to control your character again. It feels like their roll covers more distance than the attack so the bot will do it perfectly in a way you are always out of range to try attacking and their roll always ends behind you, so you're stuck in the turn back animation while the bot is able to attack.
There are some moves that are not listed like crouching by pressing down twice, sometimes it crouches sometimes it deals some weird animation that i don't even know what it does, there is more dedication in trying to make the game look like one of those arcades nobody play, like for example there is a 10 seconds animation to slowly center the camera in the arena and also show an eye looking into the fight before the fight starts than explaining people how to do anything, i am not expecting a tutorial but since there is a move list, instead of telling us how to button mash random attacks tells us basic ♥♥♥♥ like dodging crouching and what the other crouch does. But to be fair arcade games like snk always had a tutorial explaining about how to grab and such, also bots can push around id on't even know how to do that.

There is a weapon clash thing where it don't even tell you what key you need to mash to stop, it happened once but they thrown a bomb bottle at us, my character got stuck in an animation flying to the corner for the entire game so i had no choice but to close the entire game which is faster than navigating to the main menu through the slow motion menu and pointless animation. Also you can't even close the game with alt+f4 gotta use task manager or deal with their ♥♥♥♥ menu with slow motion animations and input delay.

Most times the audience is throwing potions directly on your enemy so you can't kill them because they keep healing, there is an arena map where the audience covers your screen so it's really hard to tell if they thrown a healing or explosive potion.
When they throw an explosive potion near you the bot keeps rolling around you getting you stuck in place so you can't dodge it.

There are many unfair fights like for example fighting zombies that keeps healing passively while they keep spamming healing potions on their head, meanwhile my character is getting tired all the time, once the zombie corners you it keeps spamming grabs that apparently will never break free because they just grab you again, if you roll to the other side it might trigger a second zombie and then they start spamming acid taht will hit you even if you dodge, and if you don't dodge it's like 80% health lost and poisoned. They have massive health and they also spamming bombs on you all the time forcing you to stay away from them so they can get more time to heal.

At some point you fight 2 guys at once, one of them rolls all day or randomly attacks the air all day while the other stays behind parrying everything you do so if you attack one you get parry'd instantly and get hit by the 2 of them at once, if you hit one of them he just spamms rolling waiting to be healed by potions that only spawns on top of their head apparently. If you keep distance they keep healing and healing, also this game is so ♥♥♥♥ and broken that you can only fight one of them at the time while the other just stays there interrupting the fight. With this i mean your character is forced to face one of them even if that one is on the other corner of the arena while the other is next to you beating you up. The only possible way to attack them is if tehy're one on each side and when they do thay can lock you in an infinite combo.
If you kill the main guy in the 2 vs 1 fight your character get stuck spinning in circles unable to move until the first character that died disappears from the screen.

After each fight you might have to deal with some long boring minigames with traps that kills you with one hit or you run from a stone or dinosaur, there is a hint during loading screen that gives you over 2 seconds to lread the mechanic, if you didn't read then good luck. There is one where you just button mash for like 30 minutes, they feel like bonus stage but you get nothing for completing them but wasting time, especially once you figured how to play them they just more like a chore (And i said once you figure them out becuase the hint goes so fast it can't even be read).

Between arenas there are some walking areas that sometimes they have no traps sometimes they have dumb traps and sometimes they have traps that are so blend in the background that you can't see them, sometimes you see them and dodge but the damage area is inconsistant and you die anyway or character will jump with random delay messing the jump.

There is a fight with a dinosaur where the screen won't stop shaking and sliding back and forth whenever the dinosaur moves, of course the dinosaur also has potions healing it forcing you to button mash as you have no time to think of anything because if you get at certain distance you're permanently stun locked in tail attacks taht apparently can't be parry'd, if you dodge you roll you lose soo many stamina you won't be able to dodge enough to leave the tail infinite combo area, i was about to kill it it only had like 10 seconds and i rolled away and for some reason it was 100% health all out of the sudden, potions don't heal that much.
You can only hit the dinosaur with the overhead attack which drains soooooo much stamina so you either attack and be lucky from max range and be lucky it doesn't do the tail or you just roll trying to leave the tail range before you get stunned for lack of stamina. (if your character has short range you're ♥♥♥♥♥♥ in this fight).

I think the devs of this game tried to make the game "hard" to be "retro" but they forgot the basic stuff like making the game functional.

Yes you can play on easy and beat all AFK enemies but then it's not fun, most of the problems with this game is dumb ways to shove those "boss fight" attempts and traps that might or not have a working hitbox and controls randomly having input delay.

By the way if you want to continue after dying you have to press the taunt key which makes no sense, it took a while to figure out.

I also bought the other age of barbaria game, but this one is so bad i won't even try it as they have the same developer team, probably full of bugs and bad deveolpment choices.

I remember watching this game in a movie or serie or whatever when i was a child, found this game somewhere and i was like cool it's the game from tv. I shoved a coin and got a game over in 5 seconds.
I felt robbed, now i have infinite coins and i am the one robbing the game. Somehow they managed to make a princess even more obnoxious than peach.

Could have be a good game but there are 4 achievements that can't be obtained, take hours of farming and the number most of the time won't increase, i don't knwow what triggers the kill count to finally work but sometimes it does, at some point of the game it won't count money or kills or weapon kills anymore so you gotta beat the game to restart and beg next run it will count, eventually it gets to the max and just resets back to 0 with no achievement unlocked.

The attacks you do are random and only a very few of them might hit somebody on the floor, so if you knock somebody down as the mechanic demands to beat certain enemies you gotta spamm attacks and hopefully you will attack them or you have to wait forever till they stand up again and hit them and quickly knock them down again to repeat the attack roulette.
To this we add the heavy auto aim this game has that most times it will lock on enemies behind or on the sides instead of whatever is on front of you forcing your character to face the enemy that's on the floor most times and you end up attacking the air while multiple zombies attacks you for free (of course assuming they're not afk as they tend to do a lot).

This game is so easy zombies will barely attack they just stand still or walk at you but sometimes they decided they just afk in the middle of the fight, you're in the pov of an average league of legends player vs solo Q with anger issue blaming each other and going afk by the fountain or hiding somewhere in the jungle to avoid being reported for not scoring.

The game has no vsync or frame limit so you can be playing at 190 fps and randomly going down to 60 all the time causing weird frameskips.

There is no hard mode or extra gamemode so once you realize only 2 or 3 types of zombies will be attacking you it feels like a gmod sandbox.

The game is constantly telling you to buy stuff in the shop even if you already bought everything in the shop.

There is an annoying slow motion effect that it would be cool for it to only happen when using weapons or when killing big guys, but it happens all the time, 100% chances. It's ok the first 2 minutes of game but when you realize every singel ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ time you kill anything it will slowmo and cover the entire screen of blood blinding i feel like i spent most time in this game unable to play.

I don't know who installed this garbage in my computer i don't share my account or my computer. Or maybe i clicked by accident i don't know but as soon as i go in it ask me to create an account which means i am not owner of whatever progress i make in this trash.
I am trying to avoid games where i depend on the server because if the devs decides to shut it down i lose the game or if in this case aparently it's a farming simulator let's say i place a plant in a place where some moron considers it to be mildly transphobic or fatphobic or casualphobic i lose my account, so no thanks.

Shove your online carrots wherever the sun doesn't shines unless you following a specific cult.

2 zelda games and 1 castlevania in one, and you can bang people to death.

we wuz walkin' on walls n' ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!!

I like this game is more centered in fighting than anything else, it barely has a story and different from other H games we have an actual hard mode so it's not just walking around reading text, you gotta manage the inventory, i have never thought i was gonna need to min max a build for a game like this.

The world is very well done, graphics are nice and gameplay is very responsive but the game is too easy. After completing the game it unlocks extra areas if you bought the 18+dlc but they're really easy too, there is no infinite mode or newgame+ in fact you unlock infinite arrows making the game even easier.

I like what they did with the menu, adding mod options online and all the versions of classic doom... Not gonna lie i am in a very breedable mood right now.

Sadly they nerfed the wolfestein stages for no reason tho.