Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my a.nus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to s.hit it back out.

This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my r.ectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.

I think I may have the power to a.nally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my r.ectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.

I sharted here

Fat ♥♥♥♥♥.