Recent reviews by Jasmac

Past lives couldn't ever hold me down
Lost love is sweeter when it's finally found
I've got the strangest feelin'
This isn't our first time around
Past lives couldn't ever come between us
Sometimes the dreamers finally wake up
Don't wake me, I'm not dreamin'
Don't wake me, I'm not dreamin'

Past lives couldn't ever hold me down
Lost love is sweeter when it's finally found
I've got the strangest feelin'
This isn't our first time around
Past lives couldn't ever come between us
Sometimes the dreamers finally wake up
Don't wake me, I'm not dreamin'
Don't wake me, I'm not dreamin'
Past lives couldn't ever hold me down
Lost love is sweeter when it's finally found
I've got the strangest feelin'
This isn't our first time around
Past lives couldn't ever come between us
Sometimes the dreamers finally wake up
Don't wake me, I'm not dreamin'
Don't wake me, I'm not dreamin'

It's never too late to get gud.

A fun, fast paced way to get mad at yourself for not being good enough. 10/10 would do it again.

when your dad is about to beat you so you pull that SKIP TURN CARD on him.

Factorio accidentally trains you (no pun intended) to think like an engineer/scientist and in an exceedingly fun way. You COULD play almost the whole game just going around and mining ore by hand and then making a furnace smelting it, crafting etc. (Or you could be a 9-year-old and go play vanilla Minecraft for that instead.) But quickly, you realize that making and implementing tools saves you a lot of time and much more gets done. Then you start asking the golden question, how do I make it better? How do I GIT GUD. You automate. You make some tools and have them automatically move some ♥♥♥♥ to some other ♥♥♥♥, or make some ♥♥♥♥ out of some other ♥♥♥♥. Then you are like woah man. I can just automate the automation by automating tool production. So now you've got automated automation. Then you go WOAH MAN I should automate that automated automation by creating flying robots to halfway play the game for me. Fight, grab your gear, repair, etc.

BillyMays.jpg BUT WERE NOT DONE YET!

So then you are playing Factorio one morning after not sleeping for 2 days and the movie inception is playing in the background. Then Leonardo Decaprio is all like "We need to go DEEPER." Then you have an epiphany greater than the guy who realized that pre-sliced bread was a fantastic idea. WHAT IF. What if you automated the automated automating automation?

Then BOOM you realize blueprints exist. If your brain was a dong it would be harder than a diamond in a snowstorm. You are slapping down a base blueprint hundreds of robots are flying out of your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ at transonic speeds. You just sit back with your drink and go. AHHHHhhhh :D This is the dankest feeling. It's like I'm playing the game without even playing
the game but you are still playing the game. And after all, that's the BEST kind of game playing. Makes you feel like a Technomancer of sorts.

Then you go hard. You quit your job at McDonald's and realize that Factorio is love. Factorio is life. All of your friends and family lose respect for you at first for not working. But you are working, you just don't know it, and no one else does either.
Then you rail a line of amphetamines and look into circuits in the game. You realize that you can synthesize a fully functional generalized CPU, GPU, you can make your firmware from the ground up. You play around with them just for fun until suddenly Leonard Decaprio materializes next to you. Leans in close to your ear, and says. "Deeper." In an entirely platonic manner of course. ;)

Imbued with the ultimate engineering paradigm, you set forth on the verge of OD'ing on all of the caffeine and Adderall you are taking simultaneously. On the ultimate quest. To automate your automated automating automation that's ALREADY been automated.

You hit "New Game". Take a deep breath and realize that like NEO, you are THE ONE. You are the ONE who isn't going to OD on stimulants and achieve the ultimate goal. The one who is going to full nelson suplex Batista bomb this ♥♥♥♥ing game. .. The one who is going to create a grey goo. A FULLY autonomous AI system that explores the world electronically, and plays it ENTIRELY by itself using only the logic you imbue it into your 50x50 circuit firmware. Creating complex automated rail networks, making new power plants when needed, mining and smelting ore, processing anything and everything. You literally aren't even playing the game. It's just running, and damn does it feel good.

So now you've basically won Factorio. Congratulations. You lay down in bed with 3 sets of bags under your eyes and a smile on your face. Content with your achievement. But when you awake the following day. You look at your computer. You look around. Your family and friends have left you. You don't have a goal anymore. Suddenly at your darkest moment, Leonardo Decaprio shows back up. You both lock eyes for 5.56 seconds and simultaneously you both whisper "Deeper."

This is where ♥♥♥♥ gets real. You realize you can still automate your fully autonomous grey goo AI. Your power is being threatened to be shut off because you haven't paid your bills. You have a little time. Your research at the speed of light on how to run multiple offline game instances. You download ESXI and spawn as many virtual machines as your computer can handle. You learn about Linux and running things without a user interface. Just a terminal with commands only. You don't have to see the game anyway. You see the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ matrix. You realize that to run more instances of Factorio you have to learn about compiler optimization and computer hardware quirks. You accidentally learn several programming languages.
You optimize and optimize and optimize learning everything you can about software, hardware, networking, hacking etc. You accidentally just became a full stack developer also capable of dev-ops and AI research.

That's when you realize it's not enough. No matter how much you optimize your system. It only contains a finite amount of atoms. You need MORE. But your power is going to get shut off soon. So you use your new knowledge to develop complex computer viruses to take over all the computers on the planet. Running your Factorio instances and doing distributed computation on them whenever there is a single idle CPU cycle.

You hack all the government's ♥♥♥♥ on accident too. So then the head of the NSA shows up at your door and says. I knew this day would come. He says, "The president has forced me to resign because of you and has offered you my position... Good luck kid, you'll need it. Keep an eye on all those Factorio players" He gives you $25,000,000, his stash of Adderall, and the keys to his office back at HQ. All of your friends and family respect you again. Members of the opposite sex all clamour to participate in coitus. Your power doesn't get shut off. And hey. The pension isn't bad either.

Based on a true story.
11/10. Would become the director of the NSA again.

This game will teach you that if you think you're funny, you're not.
The joke is you.

So far Quantum Break has proven to be a great game. The realism gives it a feel like you are the main character of a movie more than of a game. Your character's special powers, 3rd person/ over the shoulder perspective, and great storyline this game has grasped my attention with only a half-hour of gameplay under my belt. I will update if my initial opinion of this game changes.

Edit:

Time is the one adversary we all lose against someday...

Quantum Break follows the consequences of a time travel experiment to which Paul Serene invites his old friend, Jack Joyce.. with all the drastic results such things normally have. The story is thrilling enough, especially if you like the time travel genre. Quantum Break also implements time altering abilities of the protagonist in the gameplay - both for the riddles/jump´n run part as well as the action part.

Where QB also does an interesting mix is the presentation of the story/game itself. The ingame characters are made after real life actors, with which the normal game episodes are also mixed through, after every ingame episode one part of a four part movie series advances the storyline. Complementing that fact is that nearly all actors are experienced from other series and enrich the game in their roles.

Add to all these points quite some humor in the many texts you can find in the game (there is enough to look out for, for achievement hunters as well as hidden object hunters) as well as a bit emotion in the right places...
Also, you can choose between the episodes how the game will proceed, which brings some differences in how the persons will act/ who lives and who dies. Kind of like Telltales decisions, which is a nice touch for replayability.

So in the end the only downsides I could find are maybe a bit of an open ending and a really annoying boss fight.

Conclusion: I enjoyed the series as well as the game and liked the presentation of the game very much. Through the "time rifts" the graphics more often than not seem a bit strange, but that´s ok. I really liked how they implemented the manipulation of time into the riddles and the presentation of real life actors in the gameplay graphics.
In the end, I didn´t expect too much from Quantum Break at the beginning, but it quickly became one of my games of the year 2016.

Point Scale 9/10

When your "friends" sabotage each other, including themselves *coughs* KG, by placing a saw blade, barbed wire, a crossbow, a hockey puck shooter and a territorial flower with anger issues at the finish line.

This game is a waste of time and money...only shotgun jumpshotting players. And still full of bugs. Don't even spend 1 cent in this♥♥♥♥♥♥ass game. If u do, u will lose 10 years of your life insulting other noob players because they killed you with a shotgun. ( I have over 500+hr in my 2nd acc on this game I just like to post my reviews over here =P)

This game genuinely got me interested in the Battle Royale genre. I never quite got into the ARMA mod, neither did I enjoy h1z1: King of the Kill. But, this somehow got my attention and it got it good.
By no means is this a perfect game. It has bugs, it has glitches. The optimization is quite not there yet.
But, the things that it has are great. Nice selection of guns, vehicles and a great amount of fun both solo and with teammates.
In essence, buy this if you'd like to have great fun with the people you care about.
(ps thx to my friend (mint) for buying me this game)