Recent reviews by BluPhoenix

mouthwashing is one of those games that comes around once in a blue moon that seems a bit innocuous at first glance. a ps1-styled short-form horror title? daring today, aren't we. this isn't a real criticism of mine, the style is what works best on a budget and art design will always be more important than graphical fidelity. visually, killer7 is gonna stick with a lot more people than madden. that said, what mouthwashing lacks in fidelity, it more than makes up for in its presentation. the narrative tools, transitions, designs all belt it out of the damn park, and what laid beneath the initial veneer i may have given is probably the best film i've ever played. make no mistake, this is a very narrative-heavy game and if you're not here for a cinematic experience, you might as well not be here at all, really.

still, it's hard to understate how much i've enjoyed the game, and getting to see friends and streamers alike react to these great characters, this great sound design, great worldbuilding, and honestly some of the most effective, economical uses of assets i've seen for maximal thematic payoff. while the gameplay itself is nothing special, it's a fine example of how the medium can be used to tell a captivating story. it's a little more than just a walking simulator, the way it plays changes things up given the context of the moment-to-moment (even with an excess of walking), but this is also a game that does not overstay its welcome or have any real downtime. you are moved from setpiece or story beat to another in quick succession, and the game does so in a manner that keeps drawing you in as you're left wanting more, being jumped around in its broken, non-linear narrative structure.

be warned, this game deals with some heavy subject matter, but does so with a fair bit of grace. things are not spelled out for you and at no point does this story insult the player's intelligence by hitting you over the head with needless exposition or tell you how you should be feeling. the negative caveat of this is of course, there exists someone who could perhaps take a very different message from what's presented, or maybe take the more patronizing stabs at face value. some people can't see daggers in smiles. i feel what i'm describing is rare- point is, i feel the more open-ended, interpretive nature of a story like this that hides bits of the story inbetween lines of dialogue, attention to detail, implications of how the characters act is an ideal as it's conducive to a lot of speculation, debate, and appreciation from those who enjoyed their time with it. while the game itself is quite short, as in, just over 2 hours- the experience doesn't exactly end once the credits roll, as it'll give you and your friends or maybe some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on twitter plenty to talk about afterward.

this was the first project of wrong organ's that i'd actually played, having just watched 'how fish is made', but i am very curious to see what this team cooks up next. it's good to see more examples that show the versatility of using games as a storytelling medium and that do so in a way that isn't pretentious. one of my favourites of the past year for sure.

and for those reading who HAVE played the game, i think most will agree:

everyone knows a jimmy.

funni man scream into intercom

At the height of the Sega Dreamcast's popularity, there was a tension brewing in the air as the 21st century began. No, it wasn't Y2K. This was something much more serious.

The year 2000 was surprisingly beneficial for SEGA as a company, with more people buying into Sega.Net subscriptions, and a near-complete lack of bad games for their platform. They still weren't pulling numbers for hardware sales like their competitor Sony was, but they were on the right track as far as making up for their poor business/marketing decisions in the mid-90s went for the 32x and the Saturn. And then Sony unveiled the Playstation 2. "Oh." said SEGA. This inevitably would spark debate over which console was going to be the future of gaming, but Sony's DVD/DVD-ROM support would be the deciding factor in the long run.

While the SONY HYPE TRAIN was starting to gather steam with the Japanese release of the PS2 in early 2000, the SEGA defense force was desperately seeking quality titles to rub in the face of Playstation fanboys. One of the very biggest being a colorful roller-blading action game from Smilebit- Jet Set Radio.

"JET SET RADIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" the game howls at you from the menu. DJ Professor K is just as amped as you are that you're playing it. And rightfully so! The game is a delight. Getting that out of the way right now because I know that since you're reading this review on a universally praised game and seeing a thumbs up next to it, it's a foregone conclusion what I'm gonna tell you.

The game's good. No ♥♥♥♥.

But the question is- why? Why does this game get the praise it does? Why are you reading this and not playing it for yourself and letting some idiot on the internet tell you why you SHOULD play it?

Right from the get-go, the game's aesthetic and world itself is established- colorful, crisp, and full of wonder despite being a lampooned vision of modern-day urban Japan. Definitely not counterculture, but more as satirizing what Japan's vision of a police state would be. You've got cops chasing you up and down the streets as you shove rival gangs out of the scene and cover up their graffiti with your own, with the captain of the police force shooting you with a revolver the size of Texas. Can't say that isn't efficient law enforcement.

One of the most striking things about the Jet Set Radio games that people will talk about is the music. The soundtrack consists of a medley of fun, danceable tracks by the one and only Hideki Naganuma, but also playing second fiddle is Deavid Soul with a mountain of terrifically sampled tracks that are just as fun. I'm not sure if all of the tracks are in every version of the Steam release these days, but back in the day they had a few region-specific songs. Most notable were the North American extra tracks that were mostly featured in chapter two of the game, which had a more hard rock/post-grunge sound to them. Not sure about these tracks being very... tonally-fitting, but they're fine. I still think it's hilarious to see someone go wide-eyed when you tell them that there was both a Rob Zombie and a Cold song in Jet Set Radio. Nobody who looks at this game on a surface level is going to expect that. I think the only track that isn't in this release is Deavid Soul's "Yappie Feet", and that just straight irritates me that the only song missing is one of my favourites.

The core gameplay for Jet Set Radio is strong, and encourages a lot of replayability- even moreso now that the HD re-release has online leaderboards. Good platforming with an emphasis on speed and style that's complimented by the spraypainting mechanics. Proooobably would recommend a controller with that, given that the spraypainting involves a lot of twirling of the analog stick... it doesnt quite work on a keyboard. There are some obvious shortcomings that you're going to feel with the gameplay though, and whether you feel like you can adjust to them or not is liable to be a dealbreaker to a fair chunk of people- most notable of these being the directional jumping. Where the skating and grinding has a pretty intuitive momentum system, jumping can't help but feel floaty and imprecise by comparison. With hops on the mind, one real weird thing is the fact that all of these white kids can actually jump? Weren't really going for that realism commitment, were we now.

Not being a bigot, tbh- I'm as white and as beardless as an Arcade Fire concert.

Now, one big thing that has also completely baffled me about the gameplay is the fact that there is a metric ton of characters to unlock, yet there is absolutely NO MULTIPLAYER to speak of (that would eventually be corrected in the sequel, 2 years later) and just as well, there's no real "endgame" aside from the fact that you can just replay each stage as many times as you please.

Graphically, this is what you'd expect from a mid-life Dreamcast game polygon-wise, but it makes due with beautiful textures and an incredibly potent style from the environments to the characters to the graffiti you're spraying. The visuals strike a chord with me that appealed both to me as a kid to me as an adult. The game looks terrific, and frankly has been done a service with its HD resolution.

With everything said and done, you've got a game with solid gameplay, despite the iffy control quirks- beautiful visuals, stellar soundtrack, great aesthetic, and a mountain of replay value, even with the lack of multiplayer. Do yourself a favour and play a piece of history today, you won't regret it.

Don't mind me, just waitin' here for JSRF to hit Steam now.

--Blu

Games like this make me truly wonder if aliens are aware of our existence but don't want anything to do with us, so they remain out of contact.

Welcome to Garry's Mod. A horrifying chimera of internet culture, pink checkerboard textures, and preteen administration.

God help us all.

Garry's Mod is less a game, and more a platform for further modification. There are hundreds, if not thousands of gametypes across servers both paid for by mum's allowance, and desperately needing to be reset. In case you're wondering why I'm so quick to jump on this "kids run this game lol" schtick, you need to understand that every single server you play on will be moderated by someone who hasn't nut yet.

There's really no point in me getting into the visuals or sound design for Garry's Mod. Chances are if you're interested in this game at all, you aren't exactly concerned with either- considering that most of this game's base assets are over a decade old. The only thing cutting-edge here would be the polygonal geometry.

That aside, Garry's mod is home to a ton of great times you can have, whether you're playing by the rules or not. The average player is gonna spend about 99.8% of their time in multiplayer, with that remaining .2% being where you mess around in sandbox mode after your initial purchase. Get a couple friends together and buckle up because you're in for one Wesley Willis-tier hellride. Once you and your crew's decided to move onto the bulk of the game, you've got a number of modes to choose from. Popular ones include DarkRP, Deathrun, Cinema, and of course, Trouble in Terrorist Town.

That's... about it. I mean this is all I can really say about the base game itself. So you may be saying to yourself "hrunghfhfhguaa?? this is a positive review?? this is telling me that i should probably devour an entire cask of lead before i touch this??" Well, make no mistake- the best part about Garry's Mod is the Mods within it. Let's cover a few of them, shall we?

TROUBLE IN TERRORIST TOWN - Generally considered the magnum opus of the game modes, TTT drops players in the middle of a 3-way standoff. The detectives, the innocent, and the traitors are all chosen at random. This is a great party game with friends, as well as a brilliant attraction for trolling. There's a "karma" system implemented to prevent that, but it's basically the equivalent of putting layers of grip tape on a knife blade. It's functional, it's fun, and i definitely recommend at least trying it.

DARKRP - Ever wonder what it would be like being a cop? Would it include smacking civvies in the street, chasing people carrying money printers to benny hill, and cybering with a hobo? Why would you expect it any other way? DarkRP is something that allows you to escape real life by imitating real life with the added bonus of crippling depression, if you haven't already gotten that covered. Be a radio DJ, be a shopkeeper, be a cop, be a criminal, be whatever! You're among friends! Just like the ones in your head!

DEATHRUN - Disguised as a game mode, this method of torture was previously used in Nazi Germany as a way of escapism- breaking their captives to ease the pain and strife knowing that they were not going to progress any further through the Russian tundra, and that their own corpses were now the ones piling up in Stalingrad. This twisted take on the famous children's game "press the button and live"(™ Milton Bradley) is taken to the extreme, and allows you to murder both friends and strangers alike in new and exciting ways. And if they're trying hard, they can murder you too!! Wow!!

CINEMA - You watch videos with your friends in a virtual theater. This is as exciting as it sounds.

Now that I'm finished completely alienating you from this game, hopefully you can see why I recommend this game. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion, except you're a passenger on said train, and xXxGUNtheHEDGEHOGxXx is still trying to get you banned before the impact. Wouldn't have it any other way. God Bless.

This game sucks.

As a long-time fan of the Tomb Raider series, I must confess- this is the only game in the entire franchise I dread playing, for a number of reasons. How is it even possible to make a misstep with such a beloved IP, and in such a grand scale? I'm not quite sure, but our boys at Core Design managed to do it. But is how the game turned out really their fault?

Kiiiiiiiinda.

Back around 2002-2003 Eidos was suffering through some serious financial troubles, and had to reallocate where time and money was being spent. Several projects being published by Eidos were unfortunately canned or put on hold during this time- including Kronos' Fear Effect: Inferno (rip). As Eidos' cash cow, you could imagine why the Tomb Raider franchise was exempt to this. Core Design was trying to beat everything they could out of the potential for the PS2, promising that Lara's next day out would revolutionize how adventure games are made. By Q2 2003, Angel of Darkness would both be somewhat near finished, and would have been delayed twice already- but Core still needed more time. Eidos ended up putting their foot down and hurried it along for release just in time for the live-action film and counterpart "Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life" , select copies of the PS2 version of Angel of Darkness also came with free ticket vouchers to go see the movie! Great deal, right?

And then you played the game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOiE0LCu6J0

So what makes this game so terrible? Well, there's a lot of things. But before we get into all that, let's talk about the positives this game brings-

1. By far, the best part about this game would be both the sound design and soundtrack. Composed by Peter Connelly and Martin Iveson, the music is passionate, and really lets you feel like there's a lot at stake in Lara's predicament.
2. New inventory system. This is a mixture of bad and good- I like that there's a number of recovery items now that affect you in varying strengths, that you can buy and sell items, and so on. BUT the way the system is incorporated is very weird. It's like they just copypasted the pause menu and put numbers on it.
3. Graphical options. Oh my GOD. Click that setup button on the starting menu and you will feel like you're in the future with how many things you can fiddle with. This game came out 12 years ago, and it has a leg up on many AAA games in just how you can alter your game to your liking.

And that's about it.

OOOOOOOOOKAAAAY. Now for my favorite part.

The most heinous offender in this game would be the how the game handles. The controls are floatier than my fat ass coated in astroglide across an ice cap. It feels like they just tried to streamline the old grid-based movement system from previous games, which ironically makes jumping across gaps a lot harder. This is also the first game in the series to incorporate mouse control for the camera, and that seems like a well-needed improvement for the game, until you discover that it A) only works on the X-axis, B) moves lara around in whatever direction you're looking. Lara can still do flips and shoot and all that jazz, but it all feels so slow and clunky now. Frankly, most scripted animations in this game feel the same way. It kind of makes getting chased by a police helicopter through the streets of Paris lack a certain urgency through Lara's actions. You can sneak around, too, I guess. You'll only use this function maybe like two or three times in the whole game, and even then, you're only using it because that's when it's required. I find it hilarious that the every previous game has incredibly linear pathing, yet feels so much better to play with.

Angel of Darkness now features a unique dialogue system. This is revolutionary because you have the choice of picking between a whopping TWO options when speaking to the quantity of emotionless mannequins that are known to populate Paris. (I learned a lot about Paris playing this game, did you know there's only one harlot in the entire ghetto?) The greatest part about this dialogue system is how amusing it is that these convos often lead to two very differing results. My personal favorite being A) make a deal and get a bunch of cool things, B) uhhhhhh you get shot.

GOOD IDEA: Introduce RPG elements to an adventure game to increase the replay value, create various pathways/solutions to obstacles that can be utilized via whatever skills/stats you have (See: Deus Ex series)

BAD IDEA: Introduce RPG elements to an adventure game and make only one solution to every obstacle, making it impossible to progress unless you've levelled the one stat you need, making "skill trees" merely a fetch quest (See: this game)

This is also the first game where you can plays as someone who isn't Lara, you get to play as chirugai-wielding badboy and Nine Inch Nails frontman, Kurtis Trent (Reznor). You only play as him in the last third of the game (in Prague), and even then you play as him for maybe like an hour or two. That's about it.

Getting back to my previous point about the development process, a lot of people like to excuse this game because it was rushed by Eidos to fit in with the then-upcoming film release. But, you have to think about how much more "finished" this game could have been. It had started development with the turn of the millenium, and was originally slated for a Q4 2002 release- but was delayed until June 2003, and at that point, they still asked for some more time. Given that the entire story of the game was told, (yet unresolved, as there were originally supposed to be two games after this one to finish the arc it began) and a basic flow/design for the game's progression was established, you have to wonder what one more time extension really could have resolved. Sure, there'd be less bugs, but it wouldn't fix the rest of the game.

Between the bland, boring gameplay, the misplaced RPG elements, the terrible controls, I'm really wondering why I even bought this game on steam in the first place, I played it and hated it back on the PS2, so I can't imagine why I bothered to spend money on this game again. Maybe I just like to torment myself, maybe I just like to drop cash on garbage.

Bottom line: this game blows, don't waste money like I do.

Why not get a better Tomb Raider game, Instead? I highly recommend the original trilogy and Legend. The reboot isn't bad either.

Let me specify something- for 8 years, this has been my favorite game of all time. I played the absolute ♥♥♥♥ out of the xbox version of it- and while it may feel more suited to a controller, it can be handled just as well on a mouse and keyboard (though you may want to bind the keys to your liking). Since there's less of them- we'll start with the bad things, shall we?

Stealth games NEED good, balanced cpu opponents. While the game gets the awareness of guards correct on a standard basis- the dudes you're sneaking past can be remarkably stupid, and occasionally even the converse of that, as it has its faults sometimes with twitchy/schizophrenic AI.

The character models' faces can be REALLY ugly. Mainly, that comes from stretching in an exaggerated expression, as grabbing someone and holding a knife to their neck raises their eyebrows roughly 3 feet above their face, and their mouths even wider than the area aforementioned. Their eyelids are also triangles.

Another fault for the PC version is that it doesn't quite have the sound design that the xbox version did- sound effects don't fade and echo like they should. Which is kind of bizarre! It's not often that the console counterpart ends up sounding better than PC master race's version.

There are a few issues in the multiplayer modes:

Co-op
-Game can desync and completely ♥♥♥♥ up a mission that you and your partner had spent an hour on
-Framerate is LOCKED TO 30 FRAMES FOR SYNCHRONIZATION PURPOSES
-This game absolutely hates when you Alt+Tab and will kick you off the server for doing it too much

Versus
-Opens separate program
-Completely different (and less visually appealing) engine
-Resolutions only offered in 4:3 format (but can be easily fixed by editing default.ini)
-Some of the maps are so huge it boggles your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mind that ubi thought only 4 players could support it

Now then- I've told you what isn't so hot about the game, and if all of that turns you off, that's okay.

So what makes Chaos Theory so great?

Make no mistake, gameplay is the breading AND the frosting on this delicious cake. The engine is completely revamped from its' predecessors, which is a magical thing that they were able to tear down what they had before that was already superb, and make something that is nearly perfect. There's a new sound meter, that lets you take a look at just how noisy you are in a situation, which makes for a better sense of immersion- rather than LOUD/NOT LOUD. The new engine the game runs on feels substantially smoother than SC or Pandora Tomorrow (which is still yet to see a steam release); All of your actions, as well as the AI's, both look and feel realistic. There's no half-hearted spring step like the original, nor do guards have to hug walls to get past eachother. All you have to worry about is coming up with the method to either stun your foe, eliminate him, or how to slip past him unnoticed. I often prefer the latter, but when in co-op, you can't really trust your partner, nor yourself to be this stealthy. You're better off quick-saving frequently or just knocking out whomever you encounter (or both!).

Sound-wise, the game sounds awesome. Stellar voice acting, great sound effects, and some of the greatest music in a game ever. In fact, Ubisoft was so pleased by composer Amon Tobin's work, they released the soundtrack a MONTH before the game was due. Tobin was able to create the tense atmosphere of the game, all while retaining the feel that you're a ghost's shadow. You ARE what goes bump in the night. Needless to say, the game's OST has wound up on every different generation of an MP3 player I've had.

Seriously. Just listen to it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SzhjG6OkvI

The voices in the game sound smooth and believable at every time. There's no forced lines like there were in Pandora Tomorrow, where there was that occasional young voice in the ambient audio tracks that absolutely did not fit the bill for the lines or the character he was given.

"DON'T SHOOT, I'M AMERICAN"

That line is going to haunt me til the day I die.

Like I've explained before, the game still looks nice, visually. The environments look polished, with the lights shining in just the right spots that make the game still a pleasure to look at, nearly a decade after release. The character models are very nicely detailed in terms of both texture, and shape. With bumps and edges on not just their faces, but clothing as well. In a game about stealth, you could imagine how important shadows and lighting are- and the balancing of the light-index along with the visuals work great (although this excludes a few particular downloadable co-op levels). The Co-op looks just like the Singleplayer, and doesn't sacrifice the engine for the sake of performance. But the extra levels included in the v1.05 patch leave a LOT to be desired. It feels like there was a completely different designer who had absolutely no spatial awareness, and didn't even understand how lighting works- and that large, stretched blood textures serve no purpose when there is no body they are connected to. Stay away from those maps if you wish not for your partner and yourself to succumb to occular leprosy.

How do I love thee, Versus? Let me count the ways.
1. When I grabbed parker and threw him off a ledge, breaking his neck.
2. Charging into and scaring the piss out of Binary_2 right after the elevator doors opened on 'Club House'.
3. Both Parker and I getting killed after bd648 fired a grenade into the rafters, taking the ceiling along with it.
4. wwchicken running headlong into yet another proximity mine next to the VIDEO GAMES terminal in 'River Mall'.

Versus makes its' return from Pandora Tomorrow, and with a vengeance. Gameplay is considerably more balanced, providing an easier challenge for the mercs. Mercs can now hit spies in the FACE, and knock them down- which levels the playing field, since spies have a tendency to sneak up and break your neck. You can also customize your loadouts for both classes, which is nice when you're trying to balance the game to fit your playstyle. Spies are still stuck with their shocker rifle, but mercs have the option to take either their default assault rifle, an SMG, or a shotgun. There's various things you can use on both sides as well, including spy traps, tracking bullets, and even stealth camouflage. It's all there, and it's a blast to play. I have no idea why there's so few people playing such a fantastic game. I mean, Counterstrike came out 13 years ago, and it's still one of the most played games on Steam.

Where is the JUSTICE.

TL;DR This game is fun as hell. If you haven't played it, and you love to be a stealthy SOB, get your hands on this delicious classic. Don't care about the multiplayer/ have no friends? The singleplayer tells a great story that can be beaten anywhere from 10-20 hours. A great deal that you can get on steam for an average 5-10 bucks. Wouldn't miss it for the world.

-BP