Ummm what the DEUCE?!

"Chat, IIIIIIIIII need to take a shower"

Suuuuuper ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gay

Pretty ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ handy ngl

johnathan my beloved

Profile pic goes hard, mind if i kill myself to it?

You're deranged. Seek help immediately

“Ok this, is epic” - Handthony moments before the Geneva convention

ITS CHRISTMAS EVERYDAY ON CHRISTMAS ISLAND SUGAH

“Kachow.”

I rolled off her onto the floor as there wasn’t enough room on the bed to fit two people. I lifted my head up to face her.

“You’ve just had the Lightning experience. Only special girls get that, so feel proud.”

I then got up and played Double Dash until she decided to leave.

I pushed her down onto my Lightning McQueen bed and tore off her clothes. I threw her pants behind me and they landed on my Dragon Ball figurine shelf. I took my trousers off but quickly emptied the pockets so I didn’t leave a used tissue in them and ruin another wash. Mummy really needs to start checking herself before she puts them in the machine. We started to plow but it was difficult to thrust back without hitting my feet into the back of McQueen’s face. I persisted though. I was riding a girl like my favourite race car.

I could tell she was about to ♥♥♥ so I increased my speed. You’ve always got to be fastest at the finish line. Her eyes rolled back and at the point of climax I uttered one word.

When we got into my dark room, the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling were the first to draw the eye. I always thought space was cool and I’d hope any girl worth my time would think the same. I then turned the light on so she didn’t trip over my Power Rangers figures I had been playing with before I left. I saw here staring at my PC below my Danny Phantom poster.

“Yeah, I’ve got a 3080 in there, but the whole thing is a custom build so I could fit the components into the Hot Wheels case. It’s the same setup that I had as a kid and I’m not ready to let go just yet.” She remained quiet but I assume she was impressed.

I ♥♥♥♥ girls in my Lightning McQueen bed

It was the early hours of a Sunday morning after I had been out to a bar with the lads. Our original plan was to just get bevved, but one thing led to another and I ended up taking some lass home.

I walked through the front door with the girl and looked into the kitchen. I saw a plate left on the table with tin foil covering it.

“Oh, did you make some food to eat when you got home?” the girl asked.

“No, I didn’t. I think mummy must have left this for me,” I replied.

I walked over and lifted the tin foil. It was a plate of turkey dinosaurs and potato smiles ready to be reheated. Nice.

I took the girl upstairs towards my room.

“Now stay quiet, daddy has enough trouble sleeping with mummy’s CPAP machine going all night. She has really bad sleep apnea," I warned. The girl nodded and quickly tiptoed with me past their bedroom door.

No offense, but peeing with a boner is harder than giving birth

According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point.

-rep Blows fat ♥♥♥♥ without a straw

Halo 3 rat!

Hello bro! :)

Hello!

maybe they make better system thats keep the report a long time. because now its only keeping 1 day and after that be deleted. so the people use cheats in 2 match and be afk 1 day. just bypass the ban.all this private cheats never be dectected by ilegal program. only be banned if go to OW. but they never play mor than 2 match.

yes! when i look the profil level 0 steam and 77 hours record. maybe is smurf ok.but, 90% of this account they use cheats . all my match now have 1 new account and only they kill like 40 kills in one match. i report but the ban coming after 3 weeks. because they play only 2 match a day and wait 1 day afk so the reports will be deleted. i hop valve change this metod.

yes my friend!i hop next year they come with better solutuion or i think this game will close soon

ok! but i cannt understand this people thats use program to win 1 game. i cannt understand that. i hop next year be better

i know all game have some hackers. but csgo have to much hackers. i think if they user one good anti cheats will resolve this problem. people user hack thats never get detected only be banned if they go to OW and if is obvs thats using hack. but to many hide the hack to not be obvs. 100% ♥♥♥♥♥♥ game.i hop next year the come with a solution because this game cannot play anymor.

Do you seriously spend over 40 hours (not minutes) a week playing video games? Can't tell if you're joking. If not then... wow. The only game I could play for 40 hours is nfl 18 and that's because I enjoy kicking other people's asses (I have a natural instinct for strategy games and high-level thinking). But I can't because I'm an adult unlike y'all I presume. Damn high school was fun :/ minus the detentions for picking on the nerds, haha.

Did you steal my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ springs bro?

+1 ♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥

░░█░█░█ █▀▀░░█░█░█ █░█ ▀▀█░░█░█ █▀█ ██░█ █▀▀▀ ▀▀█░░
░░█░█░█ █▀▀░░█░█░█ █░█ █▀▀░░█▀░ █▀█ █░██ █░▀█ █▀▀░░
░░▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀░░▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀ ▀▀▀░░▀░▀ ▀░▀ ▀░░▀ ▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀░░

I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ love this man and no God or adult can tell me I can't have sex with him.

MY KNEES ARE WEAK! I GOT MOM'S SPAGHETTI

:(

-rep I'm his dad

+Rep fast and eazy kill

+rep fast trader

+rep, nice and fast trader

+Rep fast and easy trade, thx!!

"How do you gift free games?" - DDosbruh

Fast and trust trader. +REP

Meh.