Hello ma'am! I would really appreciate it if you would open up your anal cavaty and take a picture (WITH THE FLASH) and send me the unedited results. Please send ASAP as the research im conducting on anal sphincter tumor groth could save a life! Thank you

With 3 Mentos in my ass, I lowered the coke bottle rim to my rim and poured. The reaction was nearly instant. With the tidal force of a tsunami, the bottle was violently ejected from my ass. Pressure was building up, and the gates of hell opened. I felt Satans sugary fire burst from my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ onto the bed. There was a pain, both emotional and physical. The sugary wet fart, the sound of a thousand ass-trumpets creating a heavenly cacophony. I had found God, and he was punishing me. There was the maddening sensation of your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bending over itself, inside out, shrinking, expanding. I have contemplated what hell might feel like, and I know that I could find peace there. My bed was soaked with ♥♥♥♥-coke. Lord, how am I to clean up.
I learned a valuable lesson that day.
TIL that the human ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ can stretch 8 centimeters without damage.
TL;DR: Stick to beating your meat, folks.
Edit: Thanks for the awards people!

I'm gonna ♥♥♥♥ in your socks