"Ate smegma like a ricebowl, got the chopsticks and everything"

"Gotta resist the masculine urge to piss on every electric fence I see."

"'round these parts, we use George Orwell's book as a manual, not a warning. lmao"

"I feel like your heterosexual... homoeroticism... is more intense than actually being gay"
'It is.'

“ima scrape the deodorant off her armpits with my teeth like scraping off the filling of an oreo”

"Well ok Mr. Doctor, but I'm still not convinced it should hurt when you exfoliate your balls"

"I SAID 'UWU' ONCE IN #GENERAL AND NOW EVERYONE THINKS I'M ATHEIST"

"Speed, Surprise, and Violence of Action. That's the modern day doctrine of CQB room clearing. It's also how I suck co-"

"Let me unga bunga, I will return to autism later."

"bruh windows 10 asks me for consent more often than you do"

"jinx r34 proves that jim crow was actually flattery"

"slap that weenis with a baseball bat, make that funny bone vibrate"

“It’s not gay to kiss your homies goodnight in the Discord VC, but please don’t smack your lips after they disconnect…”

"See, the only way I can imagine a peen looking like a bucket is either a.) uncircumcize cheeseweel PP or b.) missing the head"

“I really heard you sniff your hand through your mic after i asked if you washed. my brother in christ.”

"MAKING THE MOTHER OF ALL CLAPS, TREVOR. CAN'T FRET OVER EVERY CHEEK."

"Death, Taxes, and Gacha"

"I think the feller got the single-use Tenga egg, but then the rart used it multiple times... "

"This man is past post-nut clarity, he's at pre-nut clarity. He's ascended beyond us mortals."
'but he still decided to nut you rart'

"My brain made that neuron connection by itself, it was uhhh - you know - lacking braincells."
'You mean the chromosomes???'