For starters fml, it was the middle of the night, I was just gooning on my computer until my dad entered my room to tell me to turn off the AC and saw me gripping my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ meat and porn full screen on my 32 inch monitor, he just silently closed the door went back, after a few hours i heard him and my mom arguing about kicking me out. Now im terrified if they actually do it

stardawg

I lost my virginity 15 years ago, and I still Google her name hoping she became a porn star.

Time to get this off my chest. It’s been 15 damn years. And I’m still clinging to the dumbest fantasy a man can have.

I lost my virginity in college to a gorgeous redhead, way out of my league. I was awkward, shaking, had zero idea what I was doing. But mid-thrust, my idiot brain whispered:

“What if she ends up doing porn someday? Then I could say I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ a porn star.”

Not exactly a romantic thought to have for my first love. But a honest one.

She’s a lawyer now. Married. Two kids. Still no porn. I Google her name once or twice a year like some pathetic tradition.

Still nothing.

Meanwhile, I’m divorced, drunk, and balls-deep in a Fleshlight named Creampuff, clinging to the saddest pipe dream imaginable.

IM DELETING YOU, BROTHER!
██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete.....
████████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete....
████████████]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete....
█████████████████] 99% complete.....

🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Brothers of Islam are irreplaceable ☪I could never delete you Brother!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Mujahideen👪 who would give their lives for ﷲAllahﷲ Or never get called ☁️Brother☁️ again If you get
0 Back: Juhanam for you 🚫†✡🚫
3 back: you're off the martyr list☁️💦
5 back: you have pleased Allah greatly☪💦
10+ back: JANAHﷲ!ﷲ!💕💕☪👅👅

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