[Peter and his friends have formed a rock band and are performing at a prison]
Peter: [shouting into microphone] Hello, Cleveland!
Cleveland: Hello, Peter.
Quagmire: [clapping drum sticks together] One, two, three, *four*!
Peter: [small amount of time passes] Oh, my God. We don't know any songs. [prisoners get mad]
😪
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
-- Steven Wright
🤓
"It ain't so much the things we don't know that get us in trouble. It's the
things we know that ain't so."
-- Artemus Ward aka Charles Farrar Brown
🤒
Message from Our Sponsor on ttyTV at 13:58 ...
😴
She been married so many times she got rice marks all over her face.
-- Tom Waits
😙
APL hackers do it in the quad.
🤥
Lois: [on Meg's shoulders] Just a little higher, honey.
Meg: Mom, I don't think I can... [sinks]
Girl: Who's holding Lois?
Boy: Some guy named Mel.
🤐

-rep

-rep

hacker