He’s a young singer from Memphis, Tennessee.Give him a warm “Hayride” welcome.My. Elvis Presley! Young Elvis seizure.Get a haircut, buttercup! At that moment, I watched that skinny boy transform into a superhero.WEEEEELLL Tom Hanks zoomHe was my destiny.I wish to promote you, Mr. Presley.Going to a party in the county jailAre you ready to fly?I’m ready. Ready to fly.Since my baby left me.Tomorrow, all America will be talking about Elvis Presley.
Mr. Presley, try not to move around so much during the takes.
If I can’t move, I can’t sing.
Some people wanted to put me in jail, ‘cause of the way I was moving.
They might put me in jail for walkin’ across the street, but you’re a famous white boy.
The way you sing is God-given, so there can’t be nothing wrong with it. -Senator Kennedy has been shot. Martin Luther King has been shot to death in Memphis. That’s alright for you Tragedy, but it has nothing to do with us. It has everything to do with us

Aww, mustard! Come on man, now don’t put no mustard on that, you need to put a little season on that thing! WHAT! Man come on get that pepper off there! Come on, somebody come get this man! Come on now, come on get that pepper of there, that’s just too much doggone pepper. I don’t wanna see this no more!

Maclunkey!

AAyyyy bruh, ay bruh, we got the fafquaf, yeah we got that arthur from shrek 3, yeah

tyler look at your steam profile

I used to be a beat cop a long time ago. Now I’d get called out on domestic disputes all the time, hundreds probably over the years. But there was this one guy, this one piece of ♥♥♥♥, that I will never forget. Gordy. He looked like Bo Svenson. Remember him? “Walking Tall?” You don’t remember? Anyway, big boy. 270, 280. But his wife, or whatever she was, a lady, she was real small, like a bird. Wrists like little branches. Anyway, my partner and I get called out there every weekend and one of us would pull her aside and say, “C’mon, tonight’s the night. Press charges.” And this wasn’t one of those “deep down he really loves me” set ups, we get a lot of those, but not this. This girl was scared. She wasn’t gonna cross him no way, no how. Nothing we could do but pass her off to the EMTs, put him in the car, drive him downtown, throw him in the drunk tank, he sleeps it off, next morning out he goes back home.

One night, my partner is out sick and it’s just me. Then the call comes in and it’s the usual crap. Broken nose in the shower kind of thing. So I cuff him, put him in the car and away we go. Only that night, we’re driving into town, and this sideways ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is in my backseat humming “Danny Boy.” And it just rubbed me the wrong way. So instead of left, I go right, out into nowhere, and I kneel him down and I put my revolver in his mouth and I told him, “This is it. This is how it ends.” And he’s crying, going to the bathroom all over himself, swearing to God he’s gonna leave her alone, screaming as much as you can with a gun in your mouth. And I told him to be quiet and I needed to think about what I was gonna do here. And of course he got quiet. Goes still and real quiet, like a dog waiting for dinner scraps. And we just stood there for a while, me acting like I’m thinking things over and Prince Charming kneeling in the dirt with ♥♥♥♥ in his pants.

After a few minutes I took the gun out of his mouth and I say so help me if you ever touch her again and such and such and such and such and blah blah blah blah blah.” “Just a warning?” Of course. Just trying to do the right thing. But two weeks later he killed her. Of course. Caved her head in with the base of Waring blender. We got there and there was so much blood you can taste the metal. The moral of the story is I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I’ll never make that mistake again. No more half measures, Walter.

I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! *He* orchestrated it! Jimmy! He *defecated* through a *sunroof*! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I *thinking*? He'll never change. He'll *never* change! Ever since he was 9, *always* the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious *Jimmy*! Stealing them blind! And *HE* gets to be a lawyer? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance!

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