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Sometimes whenever I eat M&Ms, I like to hold two M&Ms in between my fingers and squeeze as hard as I can until one M&M cracks, I eat the cracked one, and the one that didn't crack becomes the champion. Then I grab another M&M and force it to compete with the champion in this deadly game of M&M gladiators. I do this until l run out of M&Ms and when there is only one M&M left standing, I send a letter to M&Ms brand with the champion M&M in it with a note attached tha reads: "please use this M&M"

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Diddy blud Elyzium, CEO of Pink Elf Simping™ and full-time unpaid gacha waifu tax payer from the depths of Agartha, spotted Castorice—a pink elf with a glowing scythe and a whole dragon like it’s part of her starter kit—and immediately folded like a wet cardboard NPC.

“Do you like WiFi? Cuz I’m unstable too.”
“…Are u pink? Cuz I forgot the line but u still fine.”

Castorice stared. The dragon hit him with 4K judgment. “Your rizz is in debt, your aura got repossessed, and you’re running beta DLC with no updates.”

Elyzium whispered, “I’d reroll my entire life for a pink elf girl…” and pulled out 1-star gacha goyslop like it was a mythic drop, mumbling “this that Agartha RNG straight from the trenches…”

She sighed, “You’re cringe. NickEh 30 levels.”

Bro didn’t get her—but he gained $6,700 credit card debt (SSR, Agartha exclusive).

Elyzium, the self-proclaimed rizz master with endless L aura, found himself face-to-face with Feixiao, an anime fox girl sipping 190 proof Everclear. He hit her with every bad pick-up line: "U a arab? Cuz I’m about to bust!" and “R u a minecraft fence? Cuz I can’t get over u.” Feixiao, unimpressed, dropped the Fanum fax: “U’re literally so beta.” Elyzium, in the thick of it, flexed his Sigma energy, pulling out a bouquet of Gacha pulls Blossoms, thinking he was unlocking alpha wolf charm. Feixiao, unamused, flexed, “I 8 primogems for breakfast.” After some awkward "skibidi" dance moves and a failed attempt at "fox-based philosophy," she cracked a smile: “U’re a disaster. But I’m your disaster.” Elyzium didn’t rizz her, but he definitely rizzed himself into a Psych Ward.