1. i am not afraid of dying , i am afraid of living my life to see that i was right about it .

2. The day i will be happy is the day i die .

3. Everyday i ask myself the same question " why don't i kill myself when i know that i will suffer everyday. Why am i not killing myself RIGHT NOW?! WHY?! "

4. Why am i the way i am ???

5. If the worst person you know is yourself than would you still want that person ( yourself ) to be with some one you love and care about? Does that even make sense?

6. How can i run away from myself ? How do i stop myself from being like this ? Why am i stuck with myself , EVERYDAY ?

7. I try my best not to do the same mistake i have done just to end up doing it again ... and again ... and again . But why do i do anything when i know that i will end up doing the same mistakes that hurts others ?

8. I push people away so they don't get close to me just to regret it . I don't know saying that " i did it just because they deserve someone that is better than me " is the truth or it's just something i tell to comfort myself and ease the pain .

9. In few days i will take that knife i've put aside and i will stab myself in the heart .

10. I hate every single person there is in the world .

11. Did i have any chance if i tried ? Why didn't i try ? I don't have anything to lose anyways . I should've tried when i had the chance . Its too late now . I know its too late for it but why do i still feel ♥♥♥♥♥♥ about it ? When will anything get better ? Why didn't i try the one thing that would've kept me alive ? Am i just waiting to have another chance with her ? Would've i allowed myself to ruin someone else's life ? How can people be so ignorant ?

12. I NEED HELP BUT I CAN'T GET OR I WILL NEVER ALLOW ANYONE TO HELP ME SO WHAT AM DOING RIGHT NOW ???!!!

13. There is no going back . It's just facing the truth for the rest of your life . Truth that hurts every year , every month , every day , every hour , every minute and every second .

14. I am mentally drowning ...

15. It's lonely here ...

16. I am tired of staring at the same wall , doing nothing for hours other than just think about my life . When will it all end . When will i be the one to get that happiness . When will everything be ok . I've lost everything .

17. If i'm not dead ...

18. I think i do good things just so they talk me out of my depression ... somehow ... i don't even think its possible for me to get rid of my depression ... i don't even know what am i doing right now . Help is out of reach .

19.




------------------------------------------The Beginner's Guide-----------------------------------------



He was, himself, the most horrible creature he could imagine

From up here it just looks like dots

His terrible secret, he kept it well

I help people because of the internal good feeling I get

I want to tell you a secret. Once UPON a time i did...

I refuse to believe

I think it's about how things look messy from up close and perfect from far away

I would like very much to be desired

Maybe i'll feel real some day

omg i have been here for literally an hour wtf do I do

Scared of writing something. Don't want to feel judged.

Spoilers: it doesn't mean anything

stop faking it

STOP. TURN BACK. PROCEEDING FURTHER WILL ONLY RESULT IN MISERY.

Take my hand, let's jump together

there must be a reason for it, though

This place makes me sad.

why

You close your eyes and wish for it really bad.

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-------------------------------Groundhog Day ( Movie )-----------------------------------------------


Realizing that there are no consequences for his actions, Phil begins to spend loops indulging in binge eating, one-night stands, robbery, and other dangerous activities, using his increasing knowledge of the day's events and the town's residents to manipulate circumstances to his advantage. Eventually, he focuses on seducing the sweet-natured Rita, using the loops to learn more about and manipulate her. No matter what steps he takes, Rita rebuffs his advances, particularly when Phil tells her he loves her; Rita asserts that he does not even know her.

Phil gradually becomes depressed and desperate for a way to escape the loop. He commits suicide in a variety of ways, even kidnapping Punxsutawney Phil and driving them both off a cliff. Each time, he reawakens on February 2 to "I Got You Babe". He eventually tries to explain his situation to Rita again, using his detailed knowledge of the day to accurately predict events. Convinced, Rita spends the rest of that day's loop with Phil; she encourages him to think of the loops as a blessing instead of a curse. As they lie on the bed together at night, Phil realizes that his feelings for Rita have become sincere. He wakes alone on February 2. Phil decides to use his knowledge of the loop to change himself and others: he saves people from deadly accidents and misfortunes and learns to play the piano, sculpt ice, and speak French. Regardless of his positive actions, however, he is haunted by his inability to prevent a homeless old man from dying of natural causes.

During one iteration of the loop, Phil reports on the Groundhog Day festivities with such eloquence that other news crews stop working to listen to his speech, amazing Rita. Phil continues his day helping the people of Punxsutawney. That night, Rita witnesses Phil's expert piano-playing as the adoring townsfolk regale her with stories of his good deeds earlier that day. Impressed by his apparent overnight transformation, Rita successfully bids for him at a charity bachelor auction. Phil carves an ice sculpture in Rita's image and tells her that no matter what happens, even if he is trapped in the loop forever, he is finally happy because he loves her. They share a kiss and retire to Phil's room.

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---------------------------Trying to Prove that no religion actually exists-----------------------------


Part 1 ( Religions with multiple or singular powerful being ( God ) involved )

There always has to be a beginning to something . Like first person or first planet , universe etc . If the first person , creature or planet was made by god than who/what was before god ? If there were miracles before to prove that god exists doesn't that make it more unfair for the people who are alive right now and never get to see that it actually happened ? There is always some kind of imperfection or impossible that exists in every religion and the way religious people explain it is with beliefs . I understand that it makes you more comfortable to believe that there is something after this world . It does give you a fake reason to continue living , make the suffering of your life reasonable , act like all injustice in the world will be justified in that fake afterworld , comfort you when you lose a dear person or someone you loved . If you still want to continue having beliefs or religion it's understandable because truth hurts and having that comfort is better than nothing .

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04 April 2026

Time Of Death :