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“Come play CS,” they say. “It’ll be fun.” Fun?? FUN???? My dopamine comes from watching 6 digits of xp fly in after a 3-tick lobster cook. My thrill is logging in and seeing the task list say “complete 500 things you already do out of habit.”
I’m missing out on a RELIC THAT LETS ME FISH AND COOK AT THE SAME TIME so I can go 5-19 in CS with some random Russian kid screaming "ez" in the chat like he’s Moses descending from Sinai with the scoreboard carved in stone??? Nah. I’m done. I'm going back. I need to hear the seagulls at Catherby and the dead silence of nobody talking in clan chat at 3 AM. That’s real peace.
⣧⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢦⡸⠀⠀⠀
⡏⠀⢀⡶⣲⣶⡄⠀⢠⡖⣲⣦⠀⠀⠇⢀⠤⡀
⡃⠀⠈⠛⠿⠟⠁⠀⠈⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⡅⡾⠀⡃
⢈⡢⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⢀⣀⣴⣊⣰⠃⢸⠀
⠋⢠⠊⠈⢹⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡖⠁⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⡒⢲⡆⠀⢨⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠤⠔⠑⠤⠜⠊⠀⠑⠊⠀⠀
I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was not gay. Don't trust this guy.
GIMME GIMME
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We visited the common tourist attractions and had a lot of fun together. It got really late and my hotel was very far away so he invited me over to his house. Upon entering there, I was greeted by a goddess that I soon found out to be his sister. We soon started conversating. This trader went to sleep while his sister and I kept on talking. We went on for a few hours before she invited me into her bedroom. I cautiously followed her through the dark of the night. As I entered the room she looked at me with begging eyes.
"Please spare me three fiddy for this asiimov skin", she pleaded.