Recent reviews by DocEuthanasia

After updating to B42 Unstable, I create my character. Ahh, that beloved moment when the game loads in, and the iconic words appear: "This is how you died."
My grand plan? Tame all the animals and test out the new crafting system.
First day in, I stumble upon a pig pen, already envisioning my glorious base in the starter house – fast forward, 34 hours of gameplay in just two days.

During a routine loot run in a two-story suburban home in Echo Creek, I’m casually talking with my girlfriend. I don't hear the zombie on the second floor. Suddenly—CHOMP—I get bitten in the neck. My battle cry? The most humiliating, high-pitched shriek imaginable (think of a crazed Justin Bieber fangirl :<).
I forgot to bring bandages (idiot.exe), panic even harder, until I remember—"Wait! I can rip my clothes into rags!" Too late. I bleed out. Sad frog :<<< vibes.

I roll a new character and—oops—I accidentally give them the Slow Learner trait.
I try to get rid of them by running into town, guns blazing, expecting to die gloriously in a hail of zombie teeth… but instead, I end up wiping out half the undead population (XD).
I completely forget about my bad trait, get myself some chickens, and four hours later—boom—the game bugs out. Chickens start infinitely respawning and dying in a loop. Welcome to the chickenapocalypse. I fix the bug, but at the cost of all my animals. Sad times, but at least I know where to get more.

Determined, I grind for 50 hours, maxing out perks before deciding to spice things up with mods. I install a ton of them, but the one I really wanted—Zupercarts—is so broken it disables my inventory. Sad worm ;-;
Now I have food problems. No electricity, and my radishes? Yeah… I ran them over with a car. idiot.exe engaged.
Time to hunt some rabbits.
Mission failed.
But on the way to town, I see them hopping down the middle of the road. Evil plan activated. Hehe >:)
Roadkill tastes the same, right? Mow them down, bring them back to base, and cook up a rabbit stew. 13 pots of it. #pain.

Next, I download the Auto Cook mod.
It doesn't show up in my mod list.
I spend 20 minutes deleting and re-downloading files. No luck.
I try downloading other mods instead—same issue.
Check my disk space—200MB free.
moron.exe detected
I delete 700+GB of old Medal clips, redownload the mods, and finally get back to playing.

70 more hours later, I check my perks
I still have Slow Learner.
Realization hits.
That’s why leveling took so long.
Angry, but accepting my fate, I decide to make the most of it.
I prep for an epic final stand. 6,000 strength EXP later, I level up, go to bed, and write my character's final log entry.

Before my planned demise, I step outside and—surprise!—my animals have multiplied.
I lose my mind, grinning like an idiot at my monitor, talking to my virtual pets in the goofiest high-pitched voice possible.
An hour passes.
I forget all about my death wish, pet every single animal, and soak in the cuteness overload.
Maybe I don’t need to end this character just yet.

...Then, while fishing, four zombies ambush me in the woods.
They bite me.
Oh no!
I shrug. “’Tis but a scratch.”
Two days later—dead from zombie infection.
BTW, 7% chance to get infected.
With a heavy heart, I create a new character and keep playing. ;-;

Clang.

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