Recent reviews by Derpmander Controller of Minds

Fun little game for $5. Good early-game progression, a bit tedious in the middle, and needs more for end game.

Ignore people complaining about performance issues--I'm on a 1060 from 2019 (Dell G7 15) that is simultaneously producing 2000 fish/sec in-game, running a 1080p stream in the background, and running some other programs. Zero issues. These people complaining most likely do not maintain their PC (change your thermal paste, keep your PC clean, and clear your cache people!)

Love that you made the fish your wife drew one of the best fish! Very cute!

I really like the final biome. It's very cute too. Def my fav.

The music is nice too.

The writing is very clever as well. The South Park inspired talking heads took me OUT lmao.

Thanks for the game :)

1. I left a negative review awhile back and it apparently got deleted. Bad look for Arrowhead.

2. The game was ABSOLUTE CINEMA when it released. It suffered from a small number of minor issues, the most annoying for me being a ragdolling issue (you could trip on 1 cm high ledges and ragdoll getting you killed by enemies), but the game was still amazing.

Unfortunately, the dev team ignored almost every actual issue with the game and gameplay. They instead focused on pumping out warbonds (content packs -- new guns, armor, capes, etc.) on a periodic basis. As a player who loved the game and dumped a significant amount of time into it, it was extremely disappointing to watch the devs ignore every gameplay issue while creating new content that doesn't even improve the experience (because it is still plagued by the issues they ignore). This indicates to me that the devs simply have not and do not play their own video game. That or they do play, experience the problems, and actively choose not to fix them. Which is worse? You decide.

Beyond that, the devs at some point updated the enemy AI which completely nuked the game's performance. They then "optimized" the game which made the game unplayable on lower capability devices that previously could handle the game. Mine is one of them. I believe I have 400+ hours? and now I can't even play a game due to the devs post-launch (we're talking over 1 year later) optimization. How does limiting your playerbase benefit you, Arrowhead? I would love to know.

Additionally, the Helldivers 2 community has been an absolute nightmare. I find this ironic since in my 400+ hours of gameplay I only ever had an issue with randoms I think 2 times. That is impressive. However, the devs and neckbeards created and fostered communities of 'toxic positivity' online by censoring any and all criticism--even constructive criticism. The irony in this is that the devs at the same time kowtowed to a tiny percentage of players who cried about certain weapons, proceeding to "balance" them in game. There were even cases of them reverting balncing back to its original state because they balanced a weapon so terribly post-launch.

Recommendation: Leave the guns alone. Add new ones if you want new effects. People play what they want. If you change a weapon that someone actively uses then you have ruined the weapon for that person. The arc thrower is a great example.

In regards to the recent controversy, the devs have zero obligation to monitor or moderate social media cringelords. Still, the culture of toxic positivity fostered by the devs through their simultaneous censorship and kowtowing created the environment in which this could occur.

In sum, game started amazing. Devs through not playing their own game, kowtowing to a small group of reddit freaks, through censoring criticism, failing to address existing issues, and "optimizing" the game into an unplayable state for many completely ruined what was at release an amazing experience. Simply sad to see.

Do not recommend.

Meow? Me-ow. Me-wow!

Woke up purring in the middle of the night. Parents sent me to an insane asylum. I continued to pur.

10/10 would recommend.

10/10. This is what gaming is all about.

Classic arcade style experience? Check.
Leveling system? Check.
Lovable, nostalgic pixel art? Check.
Amazing character portrait art? Check.
Good variety of stages? Check.
Good enemy variety? Check.
Good enemy mechanics variety? Check.
Cool and compelling setting? Check.
Excellent variety of playable characters? Check.
Insane variety of player-specific mechanics perhaps never-before seen in any video game? Check.
A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ city-builder???? Check.

I want a full version game of the city builder where you defend from waves of hoards or something like that. Just amazing.

Better Risk of Rain + 3D Vampire Survivors. 10/10.

Ignore the negative reviews. Part of being a business owner is making tough decisions. If you have too much on your plate then get rid of your hot dog and lemonade stands and replace them with vending machines. It's really not complicated.

If your park is getting too big and you want a small park simply use the fences to block sections you unlocked off again. You can open them for a day here and there by removing/moving a fence just to complete a task/achievement/upgrade.

TLDR; Game rocks. Best sim game yet. Only people who have no management skills are not happy with it. Use critical thinking and hire people.

At first, like many other people, I was very reluctant to play Umamusume. I thought "it's just another trash gacha game". Then I heard about Haru Urara's story and it moved me. I checked out a stream or two on Twitch and watched some of Haru's career playthrough. She immediately captured my heart. I downloaded the game on Steam and played Haru careers until I finally beat the URA Finale (the 1st time I got there Happy Meek--the game's forced rival and an IRL 4 year old horse--beat me by a nose! I'll never forgive her!)

Now, I have almost 200 hours played on Steam and who knows how many on mobile. I've played around 10 characters and bred some pretty decent horse girls with decent sparks (still no 3 stars lol but that's ok!)

I'm spent 9,000 free carats on horse girl rolls and got a few new SSRs, but now I'm hoarding them for the day Nishino Flower drops (sometime in 2026). I have almost 30,000 saved! Working on getting a better job so I can waste some money on the game LMAO!

Highly addictive game loop, the writing is excellent for most of the characters' playthroughs (Daiwa's annoyed me I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR RIVALRY THAT MUCH HOOOOOLY), and watching a Late Surger or End Closer EXPLODE past everyone in a burst of speed is the most exciting ♥♥♥♥ I've seen in a game in a long long time.

Now, I'm working on making Haru some really good grandparents and parents so she can win the Arima Kinen!

10/10

Peak is PEAK friend slop (in the best way). I played 8 straight hours the first time playing. Highly recommend.

Even solo is great. The ambient sounds and environment are extremely relaxing in a solo environment. So don't fret if you have no one to play with.

Lethal Company Jr. is very fun. Gameplay loop is addicitve. Highly recommend. Has guns too KKona Clap

The menus and UI are everything that is wrong with modern video games. Visual diarrhea.

The spawns are actually garbage. On the map with the pool there is a spawn in the middle of the map in a tiny dead end hallway with a toilet at the end of it. What in the actual ♥♥♥♥.

Voice lines are absolutely terrible and sound AI-generated (if they aren't then you should fire whoever greenlit them....)

The music doesn't fit the game at all. It completely destroys any sense of immersion.

Calling this game "Black Ops" is unfaithful to the original Black Ops. Then again, this was true of every "Black Ops" game after the original Black Ops.

Just like Black Ops 2 and 3, this Black Ops fails to capture any of the charm and feel of the original Black Ops.

CTF isn't a game mode. Massive L.

Operators are fine but the outfits matching the perks was a far superior system.

Waste of money. Don't bother. COD is dead.