Recent reviews by Dave from work

This game tells you "sinä olet paska housu" and treats you like it too.
It's a very competent Finnish Stalker / Every day Finnish life sim.


10/10 for adding the knives from Varusteleka.

This game can be summarized like this:

The visually stunning world of dead fish-eyed people, scream their over-acting, British little heads off while someone speeds up and slows down music in the background.

"Please sir, save my trolley of turnips and cabbages"
(I was joking at 5.5h in, but man, did this one become relevant later in game.
I've had children beg me to find dolls, and random peasants asking me to find their dogs.
You can skip these of course, but still. busywork is boring.)

Follow our hero, a man with no stamina, sporting a thousand-yard stare forever glued to his stupid blue-painted mug, on his quest for revenge.
Shove him into some plate-armor and avoid looking at him for the remainder of the game.

Random ♥♥♥♥ will happen for a story, you will not understand the context, the why's the who's, you will not care after a while.
Trudge on foot across the land, steal a cat, ride your all-terrain horse!

Try our 9364 different combat AND utility bindings crammed into a controller the game displays the wrong button-glyphs for.
Or alternatively suffer more, while you navigate the keyboard and mouse route.
(you absolute sadist)
Because who TF plays with anything but a xbox controller, amirite???

See that mountain? you can climb it.
It just works.


Oh, and stop falling for hype, you'll enjoy ♥♥♥♥ more if you expect less.


TLDR:
It's a completely serviceable, fun, and great looking game, sporting a crud story and poorly optimized controllers.

The devs are awesome, and so is this game.

Team Pølse gang gang.

as far as stalker inspired games go, it's pretty competent.
It's a little thin on content if we're comparing it to stalker, but that game has had years to cook with mods like GAMMA taking it to a whole new level.
I've easily put 35+ hours into it and not really bothered with missions yet, just exploring and looting so far.

Personally, the animorphic characters, I could have gone without.
You're not getting away from the "I'm playing scaly/furry Stalker" accusations while playing this.

But the game's good, no denying that,

I think I've owned this game on every platform it's been released to, even got a copy on GoG.
It's in my opinion, THE best Fallout game ever made.

I initially had some extreme stuttering when firing the first projectile weapon, pretty sure it was the ricochet or particle effects.
Same for the lightning-storms.
(I blame unreal engine, it's easy to do.)

And a certain aquatic enemy type was a pain in the posterior to dissasemble.

Both issues were fixed within a day of me writing my first review, so uh.. I don't have any complaints.

It's a game you can take your time and chill out with.
There's tons to do and set up, good simple building system really.

While It's not very challenging combat-wise, the atmosphere is great.

The only gripes I have with the game overall, is that there's not more enviromental story-telling elements other than logs.
There's a few fun details, but it doesnt really tell much of a story.
(I get it, the story is a mystery, and you fill in the blanks with imagination)
Just wish they'd leave more "show dont tell" stuff.

Also, the leveling system seems to be hardcoded.
You cap out at lvl 25 and there's no way to increase your skillpoints after this.
(not even with cheat-engine)
This means you're stuck with what you're invested in, and it frankly doesnt make much sense in a singleplayer experience like this.

An increase of another 25 levels would be perfect?

Aside from this, I'm really enjoying the pace (or tedium if you will), it's a slower game that tickles the hoarding part of the brain.

Devs seem on the ball with fixes too.

You might THINK you're too much of man to be playing this.

Truth is, you're likely not man ENOUGH.

This game will teach you to be comfortable and confident in your masculinty.

Forcefully displace a slime from it's natural habitat and then "crossbreed" it with other displaced slimes for a profit!
Engage in goo-based economics TODAY.

(It's a good game, and you'll get plenty of hours out of it)

Buy something better, don't waste your money buying this game.

How Japan managed to make digital heroin wrapped in a racing game about horsegirls is some devious black magic juju sh*t.

God help us all.

You walk into some "high-end" art gallery.
There are posh people mulling around in the room, sipping wine and discussing art.
You look at the walls where the art is displayed.
There are huge black splotches of paint just randomly thrown around every canvas.
There's some green mixed in, and some greys.
is that... is that feces?

There's one painting of a ugly man holding a baby, you can't take your eyes off the huge growth on the man's face.
There's one room that just has a pile of dead fish strewn around, the artist also smeared oil with his bare hands on the walls.
There are other pieces, but they are disjointed and make little sense with the rest of the supposed theme.
There's some guy in the corner wearing a hoodie and a skull mask.
There's a lady in a red dress basking in the dead fish.

The locale smells like a garbage heap.
A UPS guy stumbles around the room carrying a urn or some sort.

Whatever this artist tried to do or tell, you can't be sure, but all the other patrons are walking around treating it like it's the absolute business, nodding and sipping wine while all agreeing, THIS is art, in fact it is the very pinnacle of it.
This artist can do no wrong, that's when he walks in, takes a dump in the corner, bows and moonwalks out the door again, he leaves skid-marks out the door.

The applause is deafening.
You still don't "get it", and are told as such by the patrons.
You must be stupid for not seeing the message.

That is the "Norman Reedus and the funky fetus" experience.
The "story" might make sense if you mentally do backflips for it, but any kind of story is mired in "God, I love leaning into this one theme and writing contrived ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, I am so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ quirky and artistic."

The game is straight boring, and how any of you can stomach playing this walking simulator, much less a SEQUEL to it, is beyond me.

"Art is subjective, even when the art is just brown stuff haphazardly thrown onto a canvas and sold for millions"
It's called laundering, this game is BORING.