𝐻𝒾𝓉 𝑜𝓇 𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓈, 𝐼 𝑔𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓈 𝒽𝓊𝒽?

uh what?

It sucks that todays society is so different that there's legitimately good reasons to not want men to masturbate freely in public because nowadays it means you're probably a dangerous weirdo instead of an enlightened free spirit. They should have some kind of formal test set up where you are thoroughly interviewed by a panel of scientists, philosophers, nobel laureates etc. and if you are the .01 percent who meets the criteria of being a true modern day philospher and gentleman you are given a special glowing e-bracelet so that if you are in public and are struck by a sublimely erotic idea you can freely explore its possibilities in your mind with no care to your ephemeral worldly surroundings. Instead of being horrified at some random dude jacking off in a mall food court you could just hold up your glowing wrist and everyone would smile solemnly and feel priveliged to be allowed to witness a great mind at work.