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Recent reviews by CoolGarf

Showing 1-3 of 3 entries
1 person found this review helpful
4 people found this review funny
0.4 hrs on record
Couldn't actually play the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game because the UI was such ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Requiring a separate account to play? Using Right analogue stick to select menu options and Left stick to rotate the character in the customisation screen? Losing connection once every 2 minutes and then losing all of the progress you've made because apparently this game has the attention span of a moth at a fireworks display?
The small amount of gameplay I managed to have was god awful as well, the casting animation has no weight behind it, it just looks like you're giving someone a weak wristed slap.
So yeah, I wouldn't get it if I were you. They still need to make a lot of improvements.
Posted 21 January, 2019.
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1 person found this review helpful
0.3 hrs on record
Give it a miss. Or, better yet, just watch the video a couple of times and you've pretty much played it.
The writing isn't strong enough to support the bare bones gameplay, the graphics are very minimalist, the entire game occurs within about 4 rooms, and the storyline is just... kind of bad. There is one thing I can say in support of it; there's no jumpscares. Overall, I'm glad it's free, because it doesn't really deserve money.
Good for David for putting himself out there, but I think he might be better suited elsewhere.
Posted 11 November, 2017.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
3 people found this review funny
0.2 hrs on record
Utter ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥. Barely playable, you can't put the window into fullscreen so anything in the bottom third of the menu is a stab in the dark. After getting into the game somehow, the controls were slippier than a greased up seal in a bathtub, then proceeded to freeze, bug out, and crash, much like my brain while talking to an attractive woman. After closing the game, the song continued to play, distorted and running at 0.25x speed. This carried on FOR FIVE MINUTES AFTER I UNINSTALLED THE GAME. It may still be running in the background right now, so I'll let you know if my laptop bursts into tears from being exposed to this utter travesty of a game.

I don't care if it was made by new graduates, it's ♥♥♥♥. So ♥♥♥♥ in fact, I believe the university, college or other education centre that gave these people degrees should take away said degrees, take the developers outside into the back garden, and blow their ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ brains out with a sawn off shotgun.
Posted 27 July, 2016.
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Showing 1-3 of 3 entries