Look. LOOK.
I have read every Pokédex entry since Gen 3. I have Sycamore’s Mega Evolution notes bookmarked. Diantha shows up in my dreams telling me to “calm down” and I refuse.

Because I have discovered the ultimate truth:
If I can’t become a Gardevoir, I can sure as hell behave like one until the universe gets confused.

Step one:
Devotion training.
Gardevoir will literally create a micro black hole — that’s WORD-FOR-WORD from the Hoenn Pokédex — if anyone threatens their trainer.
Do you understand how intense that is?
That’s not affection. That’s cosmic-level crush energy.

So yeah, I’ve started practicing emotional commitment so strong that professors would classify me as “Fairy-type adjacent.”

Step two:
Grace.
Gardevoir doesn’t walk. They float, gently, like a polite ghost with a full-time modelling contract.
Do I have psychic levitation?
NO.
Do I glide across tile floors in socks like I’m participating in the Kalos Showcase Grand Finale?
YES.
If friction won’t give me elegance, I’ll cheat.

Step three:
Communication.
Canon says Gardevoir communicates telepathically.
Humans cannot do this.
But humans can:

appear out of nowhere

answer questions before they’re asked

stare meaningfully like a Psychic type detecting a future calamity
Is it real? No.
Does it unnerve people enough to count as “pressure”? Absolutely.

Step four:
Battle move simulation.
I cannot use Moonblast.
I CAN, however, turn slowly toward someone who’s being rude and radiate the exact energy of a Fairy-type resisting a Dragon-type attack.
If necessary, I can also:

dramatically raise my arm like I’m charging Psychic

tilt my head at a 45° angle like a precognitive anime heroine

whisper “disarming voice” and let social consequences do the damage

Step five:
Mega Gardevoir study.
This is REAL LORE:
Mega Evolution amplifies emotional output to extreme levels.
Mega Gardevoir’s dress becomes a full ballroom silhouette because apparently elegance is a stat now.

So I have concluded:
If emotions amplify power, then with enough passion I should be able to achieve a Mega-level vibe.
Not transformation.
Just vibe.
The Kalos region won’t know what hit it.

Step six:
Future sensing.
Pokédex says Gardevoir can see the future.
I cannot see the future.
But I CAN do the following:

predict exactly when drama is about to happen

preemptively sigh before someone reveals bad news

warn a friend “don’t open that, it’s cursed” with no evidence
Which, let’s be honest, is close enough.

Step seven:
Protective instinct.
Gardevoir’s entire identity is:
“I will bend space, time, and gravity itself if anyone even looks at my trainer funny.”

So here I am, cultivating loyalty intensity levels usually reserved for legendary Pokémon and emotional support dragons.