Yeah, I’m 6’ 4”. So are all my boys. We travel in packs like Abercrombie models with trust funds. We don’t walk—we yacht. If you see a blinding reflection on the water, it’s either our abs or the chrome detailing on our 5th boat (we lose count after 3).

Girls say we’re “too much.” Probably because we actually reply to their 3 a.m. texts with yacht emojis and a location pin.

I’m cracked at every game I touch—COD, Valorant, you name it. I specialize in emotionally devastating glasses-wearing pepperoni-faced nerds in lobbies who still call their mom after every loss.

Am I a villain? Maybe.
Do I lift? Religiously.
Do I drink iced coffee with creatine? Every morning, baby.

Haters call it arrogance. I call it a lifestyle.

DM me if you think you can handle a human protein shake with emotional damage and a KD ratio.