raftin's a gud game, mate!

I met cheese a few months before this whole COVID thing kicked off. I got roped into watching my 3 month old niece while my brother got his hair cut. So there I am, sitting in the waiting area of a barbershop with my niece, and who walks in but cheese himself. I was nervous as ♥♥♥♥, and just kept looking at him as he was sitting there with his phone and waited, but was too scared to say anything to him.

Pretty soon my niece started crying, and I’m trying to quiet her down because I didn’t want her to bother him, but she wouldn’t stop. Pretty soon he gets up and walks over. He started running his hands through her hair and asked what was wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry or something. So cheese put down his phone, picked up my niece and lifted his shirt. He breast fed her right there in the middle of the barbershop. Chill guy, really nice about it.

|￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|
| Pizza⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ . |
|＿＿＿＿＿ _＿|
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(•ㅅ•) ||
/ 　 づ

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⡾⠏⠉⠙⠳⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠞⠉⠙⠲⡀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣴⠿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷
⠀⠀⢠⣟⣋⡀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⣀⡀⣧⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇
⠀⠀⢸⣯⡭⠁⠸⣛⣟⠆⡴⣻⡲⣿⠀⣸⠀⠀OK⠀ ⡇
⠀⠀⣟⣿⡭⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⠀⠀⣿⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇
⠀⠀⠙⢿⣯⠄⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣶⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠘⠤⣄⣠⠞⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣷⡦⢤⡤⢤⣞⣁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣿⣏⠁⠀⠀⠸⣏⢯⣷⣖⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢀⣾⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢲⣶⣾⢉⡷⣿⣿⠵⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣼⣿⠍⠉⣿⡭⠉⠙⢺⣇⣼⡏⠀⠀⠀⣄⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣧⣀⣿.........⣀⣰⣏⣘⣆⣀⠀⠀

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░░░░░arrived░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀██████

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.

Q U A N T U M N U T S

ALWAYS 🕔 make sure 👍 to shave 🔪🍑 because ✌️ the last time 🕒 we let 👐😪 a bush 🌳 in our lives 👈😜👉 it did 9/11 💥🏢🏢✈️🔥🔥🔥

Jesus that run on sentence hurts my eyes

In the song "Fireflies" by Owl City he states "I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs." Are we to assume each bug hugs him a thousand times? Or is he only getting hugged by 1/10th of the bugs?

߷߷߷vvsssssshhhhhh

Say nothing. Instead, bring your chin down to protect your neck while continuing to stare into his eyes. Bring up your hands and say "I don't want no trouble, ya hear?". Flex your traps and core while slightly bending your knees. Here comes the important part. In a low voice begin to say "wolowolowolowolowolo" slowly increasing in volume, he should be surprised by now. Begin to sway side to side and loosen all facial muscles and your anal sphincter and your kegal muscle. By now you should be pretty loud and your opponent will have stepped back and will appear visibly shaken. Begin to piss and ♥♥♥♥ yourself and let your eyes roll into the back of your head. By now you are chanting "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" at the top of your lungs. He will run away. Everyone within a one mile radius will feel a terrifying presence within their soul. Marvel as you ascend into your planar form.

A N Y T H I N G

I was in science class when a call came into our sub, I won't forget the look on her face when she looked up and told us that club panguin was gone. After that everyone started talking about it and those who knew those who were still online frantically checked there phones to see if anyones peinguin made it out alive. I personally do not know anyone who was on the server when it shut down but I feel sorry for those who do.

7am wakin up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seeing everything, the time is goin
Tickin on an on, everybody's rushin
Gotta get down to the GameStop
Gotta get my games, I see my Switch!
Switchin' in the bathroom
Switchin' in the bedroom
Gotta make my mind up
In which room should I Switch?
It's Switchmas, Switchmas
Gotta get down on Switchmas
Everybody's looking forward to play Zelda, Zelda
Switchmas, Switchmas
Gettin down on Switchmas
Everybody's lookin forward to play Zelda
Joy-conin' Joy-conin' yeah!
Joy-conin' joy conin' yeah!
Fun Fun Fun Fun
Lookin' forward to play Zelda!

whоm'st'd've'dist'd'n't'st'd've'll's'd've're'n't'y'all'll'ven't't'whom'st'd'y'all've'nt'll've'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan't've'there'dn't'vet'be'st'dn'mightn't'ven't'st've'ten'y'all'st'd'n't've'll'on't'vehe'd'whom'st'd've'dist'd'n't'st'd've'll's'd've're'n't'y'all'll'ven't't'whom'st'd'y'all've'nt'll've'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan't've'there'dn't'vet'be'st'dn'mightn't'ven't'st've'ten'y'all'st'd'n't've'll'on't'vehe'd'whom'st'd've'dist'd'n't'st'd've'll's'd've're'n't'y'all'll'ven't't'whom'st'd'y'all've'nt'll've'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan't've'there'dn't'vet'be'st'dn'mightn't'ven't'st've'ten'y'all'st'd'n't've'll'on't'vehe'd'whom'st'd've'dist'd'n't'st'd've'll's'd've're'n't'y'all'll'ven't't'whom'st'd'y'all've'nt'll've'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan't've'there'dn't'vet'be'st'dn'mightn't'ven't'st've'ten'y'all'st'd'n't've'll'on't'vehe'd'whom'st'd've'dist'd'n't'st'd've'll's'd've're'n't'y'all'll'ven't't'whom'st'd'y'all've'nt'll've'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan't've'there'dn't'vet'be'st'dn'mightn't'vеn'‌t

Guys. I need help. Currently I'm in a state where I can't think, dream or talk about anything but Mr. Ping from Kung-fu panda. He's just so irresistible. I want him to make me a noodle sculpture of my body and stroke it with his slender wings. Then we will go to the mountains and lay under the glowing stars. And when the time comes I will lay him down to bed and watch him sleep. His slow pacing goose snores lull me into a hypnotic trance as I too fall into a deep sleep. I wake up to the smell of noodles. Mr. Ping is in the shop making noodles. His job is nothing to me "Mr. Ping?" I ask "why do you make noodles without me" "I can't share the secret recipe" Mr. Ping explains. He turns back to the pot and tastes his noodles. Mr. Ping falls to the ground as the sleeping pills overtake him. He is my destiny now. I lock him in a cage and lay against it. "Oh Mr. Ping" I say "you complete me."

……(\_/)
……( ‘_’)
…./”"”"”"”"”"”"\======░
/”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”\
\_@_@_@_@_@_/

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and... oh, Jesus. The memories seldom left him, either. Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes. And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there... in the jungle.

You leave his baguettes out of this you monster

Please that meme is stale as your baguette

Don't let this meme wall distract you from the fact that in 1998 the Undertaker threw mankind off the hell in a cell 16 feet into an announcer table.

Waluigi is the ultimate example of the individual shaped by the signifier. Waluigi is a man seen only in mirror images; lost in a hall of mirrors he is a reflection of a reflection of a reflection. You start with Mario – the wholesome all Italian plumbing superman, you reflect him to create Luigi – the same thing but slightly less. You invert Mario to create Wario – Mario turned septic and libertarian – then you reflect the inversion in the reflection: you create a being who can only exist in reference to others. Waluigi is the true nowhere man, without the other characters he reflects, inverts and parodies he has no reason to exist. Waluigi’s identity only comes from what and who he isn’t – without a wider frame of reference he is nothing. He is not his own man. In a world where our identities are shaped by our warped relationships to brands and commerce we are all Waluigi.

Hello trashlord????????

Rawr xD that means 'If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may to be entitled to financial compensation. Mesothelioma is a rare cancer linked to asbestos exposure. Exposure to asbestos in the Navy, shipyards, mills, heating, construction or the automotive industries may put you at risk. Please don’t wait, call 1-800-99 LAW USA today for a free legal consultation and financial information packet. Mesothelioma patients call now! 1-800-99 LAW USA' in dinosaur

:ok2:

:ic:

Delet this

How dare you remove my comments

:really:

Marnacheeshey

On a scale of 1-ghost pepper...how spicy are you feeling bastion???

I sexually Identify as a TI-84 Plus Graphing Calculator. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of solving complex systems of equations with graphing and matrix capabilities. People say to me that a person being a calculator is Impossible and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install a monochrome LCD display, 30 mm buttons and Texas Instruments branding on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Silver Edition" and respect my right to solve problems and load needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a calculophobe and need to check your RAM privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

is that alex mazzarini

I sexually Identify as a wave function that describes the quantum state of the system. Ever since I was a boy, I dreamed of combining the wave and particle theories of matter, and obtaining a complex-valued probability amplitude. People say to me that a person being both a particle and a wave is Impossible and I’m ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a physicist install additional electrons, high energy photons, and relativistic mechanics on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Shrodonger” and respect my right to randomly decay and tunnel through objects. If you can’t accept me you’re a classical physicist and need to check your quantum privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

I sexually Identify as a ＬＡＭＢＯＲＧＨＩＮＩ. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of ＤＲＩＶing ＵＰ ＨＥＲＥ ＩＮ ＴＨＥ ＨＯＬＬＹＷＯＯＤ ＨＩＬＬＳ. People say to me that a person being a ＬＡＭＢＯＲＧＨＩＮＩ is Impossible and I’m ＭＡＴＥＲＩＡＬＩＳＴＩＣ but I don’t care, I’m this ＮＥＷ ＬＡＭＢＯＲＧＨＩＮＩ ＨＥＲＥ. I’m having a plastic surgeon install , 7 ＮＥＷ bookshelves and ２０００ ｎｅｗ ｂｏｏｋｓ on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “ＮＥＷ ＬＡＭＢＯＲＧＨＩＮＩ ＨＥＲＥ” and respect my right to ＤＲＩＶＥ ＵＰ ＨＥＲＥ ＩＮ ＴＨＥ ＨＯＬＬＹＷＯＯＤ ＨＩＬＬＳ. If you can’t accept me you’re a ＬＡＭＢＯphobe and need to check your ＧＮＡＷＬＩＤＧＥ. Thank you, and I'll see you on my website.

I really hate Photons, man Why the ♥♥♥♥ they gotta be like that and do the thing like that which they do. I mean really, it can be somewhere and another place at the same time, it's light but also no mass? I mean really, Quarks I can live with in small amounts, but ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Photons? ♥♥♥♥ me.

+rep works from home, mah ♥♥♥♥♥

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| 　 　｜　Yes　　 |　　　｜　Maybe　｜ 　 　 | No | |
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Look at the ancient world: there was no such thing as "gay" or "straight". There was just being a man, and being a man meant you had sex with other alpha men for fun and personal development. Having sex with women was just a necessary evil, a loathsome chore necessary to perpetuate the species.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sell the lie that if you have sex with men, you need to adopt a "gay" persona where you live a degenerate lifestyle, act in a feminine manner, and vote for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ politicians. The reality is that the most masculine thing you can do is ♥♥♥♥ another man.

❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
Post this on the walls of the 12 prettiest Girls you know...
If you get back 5 you're beautiful. ..
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤

It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again

I’m Rick Harrison and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, Big Hoss, and in 23 years I’ve learned one thing. You never know what is gonna come through that door.

👯👯The 🐶YiffnessGram™🐶 Furry 🐧 Test is a multistage 🐐knot🐐 capacity 🐬 test that ↗️ progressively gets more 😥difficult 😥 as it continues. 🐖 The 🐋 200 pound 🐋 🐼bara🐼 furry🐵 test will begin in 30 🐱nyas🐈. Line 🐈 up 🐷 at 🐺 the 🐗 cage 🐑 doors. The breeding👌 speed 🐑 starts 🐢slowly🐢, but gets 🐇faster🐇 each ⏱minute⏱ after you 👂hear👂 this signal. 🐱[nyaa!!~<33🐱] A single 🐱nya should be 🐯 completed each time you 👂hear this sound👂. [prrrr~]🐈 Remember 🐈 to yiff 🐺 🐗 🐴 in a fursuit, and yiff 🐐 🐏 as long as possible. The ✌️🏿second✌️🏿 time 🐆 🐅 you fail to complete a whole 🐪 🐫 yiff before the 🐱nya🐱, your 🐁 furry 🐩 🍑ass🍑 is over. The test will 🐑 begin 🐎 on the word 🐈 meow 🐈. On your 🐶bark🐶, get yiffy, 🐱meow!!~💦😍💦😍👯👯

The illest cheesiest ♥♥♥♥♥ I never asked for

The best dad I never asked for

🔊🔊🚨🚨WARNING🔊🚨🚨WARNING🚨🚨🔊THIS IS A 🐸DANK 👽MEME❗❗ 🐸ALERT. INCOMING 🐸DANK 👽MEME🐸 👐👌HEADING STRAIGHT 🚀🚀YOUR WAY. 🔜👆👆👆PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS🚧🚧 NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS 🐸DANK 👽MEME❗❗ 🐸 🌋🌋🌋 .BUCKLE UP♿♿♿ THEM SEATBELTS👮👮,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT📵📵 AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS👅👅🍑🍑🍑🍩🍩💩💩 CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE 🚬🚬 🍁🏭🍁🏭🍁🚬🚬DANK FACTORY