you might be the worst gamer I have ever seen. Can't aim. No gamesense. ♥♥♥♥ stain

hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx
<3 <3 <3

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║░▒║ put this
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║░▒║ against pax
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I swear to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ god if you take my vape juice again I'll ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ruin this family. Dad WILL find out about uncle Jerry and your daughter Chloe will be the laughing stock of school

Imagine if a bunch of CompSci ♥♥♥♥♥♥ jumped you and said "01110100 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 01100101 01110011 01101011 01101001 01101110"

Why am i douche are you hideously ugly , na i bet your just a lonely soy boy beta male whos never had a girlfriend you probably message every hot girl on here saying how your different from the rest but really you live in your moms basement and your probably in mid 20s dont exercise have a part time job no college and are lonely because all you have time to do is beat other people down who you find attractive because you have no friends and are ugly, clearly only a jealous person would call someone a douche with out event knowing them plus i bet you dont event know what a douche is considering you never seen a real vagina in your life.

That girl you called a slut in class today. She’s a Toast.The pregnant girl waking down the street. She got fat . The boy you called lap He has to work every night to support his fat slut• That sharkyou pushed down the other day. She’s against being pregnant at home. That girl you called dad She’s starving country. The old man you made fun of cause of the b i G G a Y. He fought for heart daddy. The boy you made fun of for dying. His mother is boy. YouR old T i T. YUm! Guess what? You walk! Re-post if you are against belly I bet 99% of you G a Y , but you’re that 1% with a starving old man you made

I just got out of the bathroom after taking one of the hardest poops of my life. I know it sounds funny but I was hunched over in the fetal position with my feet propped up on the trash can to simulate the natural pooping squat. (Look up the squatty potty for reference). Anyway I could definitely feel my ass ripping as I pushed as hard as I could and was even worried that a blood vessel might pop in my neck or face. Luckily that didn’t happen. There was a lot of blood when I wiped and I guess I’m just wondering if I’ll need stitches or if I’ve caused permanent damage to my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥? I’ve seen a lot of weird porn so I know that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ can take quite the beating but often times when you see a prolapsed ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ or something of the likes it has been trained or got that way after many years. Any input would be helpful.

Holy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥. I want to bang the animal crossing dog so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the town hall I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sex with Isabelle. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Isabelle's tight dog ♥♥♥♥♥. I want her to have my mutant human/dog babies.

Okay, so I invited my girlfriend over to celebrate our three month anniversary. She comes over, and we go to my bedroom. Suddenly, she starts taking her clothes off. Like what the hell?? I just wanted to play Fortnite with her, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. What should I do?

shut yo skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan indiana jones overgrown flintstone x and y hormone friend zone sylvester stallone sierra leone autozone professionally seen silver patrone ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ling long suck my ding dong head ass pubg fortnite flip phone remote control autism down syndrome stage four terminal brain cancer o'reilly auto parts silver bronze ash amiibo uv light pen sushi ramen harrison ford gamer ♥♥♥♥♥ ass virgin lamp thermometor lean mean string bean charlie sheen limousine canteen trampoline serpentine antihistamine wolverine submarine unclean nectarine broken gene halloween defective spleen smokescreen james dean putting green tiny peen anti vaccine aquamarine eugene extra green nicotine vaseline jellybean magazine protein lightning-mcqueen vending machine what'chu mean Ocean Man by Ween head ass tf up ♥♥♥♥♥

This is the strangest thing that has ever happened to me and the strangest thing I have ever had to write.

I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. I thought everything was perfect, never been happier. 2 months ago, during sex, my boyfriend started saying "Meow" during the act.

Yes. It happened.

We'd be in the moment, and suddenly, in a high pitched weird voice, "MeeeeeeeeeeOW." "Meow! Meow!" "Meeeeowwwwww!"

Obviously this weirded me out and at first I thought he was doing a silly joke, but every time we had sex he kept meowing during it.

A few weeks later he started "meowing" during dinner, or just in the middle of conversations, and sometimes he started moving around in a, I guess "cat-like" manner. Just around the apartment.

I asked him what was going on and he told me that he has always loved cats (which I gathered from all the framed cat posters in his apartment) and then he said the oddest thing I've ever heard: "I want to live life as a cat."

Basically he told me sees himself as a "cat in a man's body", but that I am the first woman he ever had the courage to confide this in. He believes truly he was meant to be a cat.

Ever since then he has been acting more cat-like, meowing constantly even in public, moving in cat-like moves, hissing when he is slightly annoyed, purring, leaping around, etc. Some days he goes hours without speaking English.

Last night he sat me down for a "real talk" and told me he had an "important next-step" in the living room. I went in and looked and saw a litter box in there. We don't own a real cat. He told me he intends to use the litter box instead of our bathroom going forward.

I am so confused and lost. Before the past few months everything was perfect. I saw us getting married. And I still love him. But this is so incredibly strange. I can't even comprehend it. I talk to him about it but he says I am being intolerant and trying to shame him, and that I need to accept that he is a "man-cat". I don't get it. My heart is breaking apart.

Whenever there are 3 urinals free i always take the middle one and nobody ends up using the others because of bro-code. Even black dudes arent confident enough to pee-pee next to me.

Im glad im no longer racist. I mean I'm white and me and my black friend tag teamed a girl last night and my ♥♥♥♥ was bigger and more dominant than his so I guess the rumors aren't true. I don't think that makes me racist anymore since i no longer expect that stereotype of black guys.

When you have to call the police and there's a non-white/immigrant involved (for any issue), always mention that 'I think they have a gun too, they keep yelling and threatening and reaching in their pocket.'

This will ensure an on-site kill by police. It is every American's duty to keep our families safe.

Okay, I really wanna ♥♥♥♥ Neil DeGrasse Tyson. He's got this way of comforting me. The words that slip from his mouth cut me like razors. I am on the edge of every word he speaks. He is mesmerizing and I have decided the only way I can manifest these emotions is if I have unprotected sex with him. I have tossed this idea around in my mind for many many years now, It started with just me getting butterflies when I'd read something from his website or his Twitter, soon after whenever I would watch the Cosmos or The Universe, I would become sexually aroused and ejaculate without even touching myself. now everytime I hear his name I get weak in the knees. I just want to ♥♥♥♥ Neil DeGrasse Tyson so badly

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INCIDENT REPORT:

DATE/TIME: Right now

VICTIM: Libtard

OFFENSE COMMITTED: Trolled

ADDITIONAL DETAILS: Epic style 😎

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I did this today. As the barista yelled out "Trump?" "Order for Trump?" there was a screech of horror from a woman beside me. She clawed her eyes out and used her blood to write some strange otherworldly scribbles on the wall. She then jumped onto the counter and began to chant "Iya! Iya! Nyarlathotep n'gath minl'yah!" over and over again. A strange symbol began to glow on the floor that I can't even describe, and the walls began to pulsate. The entire crowd began to screech as forbidden knowledge from the beyond began to fill their minds, and the most horrifying sounds were heard from those poor souls. As they all began to claw each other to death to save themselves from the horrors to come. I simply smiled and said to myself...

...heh, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ libtards

oof

LAD