WARNING!
THE CHLAMYDIA YOU GOT IN VEGAS
WILL NOT ACTUALLY STAY IN VEGAS

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life.
(unless I buy something)



If your feet smell
and your nose runs,
you're built upside down.

Welcome to Utah
Set your watch back 20 years.

Lord, if I can't be skinny,
please let all my friends be fat.

If Noah had been smart he would
have swatted those two flies.

If at first you don't succeed,
destroy all evidence that you even tried.