Skill Issue? - Git Gud.
Performance issue? - Upgrade Potato
Strategy Issue? - Play checkers, chess is too hard
Build Issue? - Step away from the stove, you can't cook.
Aim Issue? - Turn the monitor on.
Ping Issue? - Move closer to the router.
Teammate Issue? - Bold of you to assume you aren't the problem.
RNG Issue? - Have you tried simply having better luck?
Meta Issue? - If you can't beat'em, join'em. If you still can't beat'em, uninstall.