"Could probably start a cult if it tried. - 4/5 "

"Lurdusaurus arenatus - 5/5 " (Customer refused to elaborate.)

"Friendly but lurks. Be prepared for It to suddenly start staring into your soul. - 4/5 "

"Larger than it looked online, but takes up surprisingly little space! - 4.5/5 "

"Probably autistic. Good at nerd stuff, which comes in handy sometimes. - 4.5/5 "

"Possibly a robot sent to study humans. Does a surprisingly good job. - 4/5 "

"Expert kidnapper. I felt safe the whole way. - 4/5 "

"balls - 6/9 " wait no that's not supposed to be like that...

"Would probably quit real life if it wasn't first person. 4/5 "

"[REVIEW UNDER INVESTIGATION FOR TREASON] 1/5 "

Q: Are you my dad?
A: Maybe.

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Well, uh... to bad then.

No refunds or exchanges. Batteries sold separately.