I was only nine years old. I loved Counter Strike so much, I had all the skins and knives. I'd pray to Gaben every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Counter Strike is love", I would say, "Counter Strike is life". My dad hears me and calls me a ♥♥♥♥♥♥. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of pushing B on mirage. I called him a ♥♥♥♥. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Gabe Logan Newell. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my wallet"...

He grabs me with his powerful Valve hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my wallet open for Gaben. He penetrates my bank account. It hurts so much, but I do it for Counter Strike. I can feel my balance tanking as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Gaben. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my inventory with his skins. My dad walks in. Gaben looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all gone now". Gaben leaves through my window. Counter Strike is love. Counter Strike is life.

best twink EVERRRRRR