Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the son of a lesbian

In West Yorkshite, born and raised
In the shop is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool
And all shootin' some kids in my school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little school shooting and my mom got scared
and shouted "Im getting married to Jenny Murphy down in Whitby"

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Jenny all day and all night
She gave me a beating and then she kicked me out
I put my zara tracksuit on and said "♥♥♥♥ off you fat ♥♥♥♥♥"
Brett, yo, this is bad
Drinkin' vodka out of a tin can
Is this what the people of Swarcliffe r livin like?
Hmmm, this might be all right
But wait, I hear they're poor, homeless, and all that
Is this the type of place that they just sent this fat cat?
I don't think so, I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the kid with an ar-15

Well, uh, i got off my copped bike and
There was a dude looked like a cop standin' there with my name out
I ain't tryin' to get arrested yet, ive just started planning
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared like my dad
I whistled for the nearby white van and when it came near
The license plate said 'KiddyFiddler' and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this van was rare
But I thought "Nah, forget it, and shot up the driver with a rusty deag!"

I pulled up to the school about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the primary children "Yo holmes, smell ya later"
Looked at my children, I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Leeds school shooter
and shouted "cheers mom and jenny you slags!"

-Short poem by nathan