So, I was at my friend's place. It's 3 AM, and my friend Mike was absolutely out for the count on the couch, mouth wide open, snoring like an Irish guy. Naturally, being his bro, I thought it would be funny if I made him sniff my balls, so I got myself naked and tried to teabag him a little bit without making it sexual, because he's my bro and I have to do it. I'm hovering over him, trying to maintain a precarious squat, and then tried to flick my balls with my finger just to get them to tag his nose, so his nose would suck them right into his nose. The balls got vacuumed into his nose as I expected them to, but the thing is that it felt really good, so it made me lose my balance for just a moment, which caused my balls to enter his mouth and wake him up.

I am in the middle of carrying a league of legends game about to close it out, and my bra-less wife brings me a sandwich (not asked for) with chips as I get a double kill bot lane. So how is your day going?

I'm taking you off the cinnamon toast crunch and putting you onto the Cascadian Farm Organic Cinnamon Crunch Breakfast Cereal - 9.2oz

We had a golf plan together, but you still haven't confirmed when. I believe you might have forgotten.

I've come to make an announcement, Shadow the Hedgehog is a ♥♥♥♥♥ ass ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ he pissed on my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ quill-y ♥♥♥♥ out and he pissed on my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wife and he said his ♥♥♥♥ was THIS BIG and I said "That's disgusting." so I'm making a call-out post on my [censored ]. Shadow the Hedgehog you got a small ♥♥♥♥, it's the size of this walnut except way smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right baby, all points, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong! He ♥♥♥♥♥♥ my wife, so guess what? I'm gonna ♥♥♥♥ the Earth! That's right, this is what you get! My super laser piss! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on THE MOON! How do you like that Obama? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! You have 23 hours until the piss droplets hit the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Earth, now get out of my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sight before I piss on you too