♥♥♥♥

*Sarmon is laying in his bed after a long, rigourous day at sea when Oom enters the room*
Oom: Hey, you get Black Ops yet? That game is the ♥♥♥♥.
Sarmon: Dude, do you know how badly Enclave pisses me off?
Oom: inb4 why i don't have him on my friends list
Sarmon: Dude, I'm going to go play Borderlands.
*Sarmon rises from the bed and punches Oom as hard as he can across the face and Oom stumbles back and looks up, surprised at him*
Oom: W-what was that for?!
Sarmon: Get the ♥♥♥♥ out of my way next time.
*Oom throws himself at Sarmon, tackling him to the ground and begins punching him in the face repeatedly as Sarmon struggles to get out of his grasp*
Sarmon: G-get the ♥♥♥♥ off me!
*Sarmon flips Oom over into the wall and grasps his shirt, stands up, and pushes him against the wall and punches his face over and over with his right hand*
Sarmon (In sync with the punches): Don't! ♥♥♥♥! With! Me! I'll! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥! Kill you!
*Oom spouts blood from every port on his face and groans as he hopelessly tries to get away from Sarmon's grasp*
Sarmon: I should have done this a long time ago...
*Sarmon lifts Oom over his head and heaves him at the wall violently, leaving a dent in the wall*
*Oom attempts to crawl away from him as Sarmon approaches slowly and kicks Oom violently in the crotch as hard as he can*
Oom: (Groans of pain)
Sarmon: Not so tough now... are ya..?
*Sarmon lifts Oom into the air and tosses him out the window of their 2 story appartment and watches as Oom slowly falls to a sickening thud as he hits the pavement below*
Sarmon: Good riddance...
*Sarmon walks over to his PC and starts up Borderlands and starts to load up his character when he notices that his data was erased by a computer virus from too much yuri RP with strangers over the internet*
Sarmon: What... the ♥♥♥♥? NO... NO! NO NO NO NO NO!
*Sarmon suddenly grabs his mouse and bashes himself repeatedly in the face with it as hard as he can until blood spouts out*
Sarmon: I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR LIFE!
*Sarmon slams his head down on his monitor, breaking his nose and causing a massive amount of blood to spill onto his desk*
Sarmon: I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE!
*Sarmon takes his keyboard and continues slamming it against his face as hard as he can until his face is unrecognizable from trauma*
Sarmon: MY SAVIOR!
*Sarmon shoots up and runs to his wall and slams his face against it over and over violently*
Sarmon: TAKE ME!
*Sarmon slams his head one final time against the wall as hard as humanly possible, breaking his neck. He falls limp onto the floor, spouting blood from his face and neck and lays dead in a pool of his own blood*

*Sarmon is sitting at his computer, messaging his Steam friends when Oom-9 walks into the room*
Oom-9: Hey, you get Black Ops yet? That game's the ♥♥♥♥.
Sarmon: ♥♥♥♥ YOU I HATE MY LIFE
*Sarmon brandishes a razor blade and slits his throat and dies*

As I write them, I shall post new episodes of a dramatic sitcom I am writing. The main characters consist of Sarmon Darkwatch, the man you all know and love and his best friend Oom-9. I wrote two so far, they will be posted in a moment.