and when the clock strikes 12 and the fireworks go off I hope you know I love you

do you still remember when we held hands in the rain?

its been more than a year since it ended, yet the months we were together pains me like it ended just an hour ago

you have no idea how much that short amount of time we had together meant to me

a ideia de você não existir mais
me arrasta para um lugar onde eu também
quase não existo mais.

I was so proud whenever I would talk about you or us.
It has never stopped hurting not being able to share with everyone what we were or could be until this day.

not too long ago, I probably would've died for you

você disse que não queria me ver com outra pessoa, mas foi você que me forçou a aceitar que nunca mais seria minha

we walked into the night
am I to bid you farewell?
why can't you see that I try?
when every tear I shed is for you

I would relive everything again just to see you smile because of me one more time

o quão miserável eu sou ao seus olhos, ao ponto de te fazer pensar que mereço apenas o seu silêncio?

we were an example of soulmates, both scared of abandonment
why did you give up on me?

There comes a time everybody meets the same fate

Maybe I'm crazy to suppose
I'd ever be the one you chose
Out of the thousand invitations you'll receive

But summer passed
And we grew up
And all of our plans
They split us up
And I haven't seen your face or heard your voice in so long
So, so long
We had a good run
It's over now

all this anger that i carry now used to be love. every bit of it, every part of this feeling that now feels heavy. it started as something soft. something gentle, i used to have so much love in me. i trusted people with my vulnerable parts. i let them see sides of me i had never shown anyone before, because i believed in them. but they didn't see the love for what it was. instead, they took it for granted. they took advantage of it. they betrayed me, disrespected me, and let me down so many times. and every time i got hurt, something inside me changed.

now, the warmth i used to feel has turned cold. and slowly, that love turned into something else. it turned into anger. but not the kind of anger that wants to destroy. not the loud kind that screams and blames. this anger comes from pain, not from hate. the kind of anger that shows up when you've been hurt too many times and you don't know what else to feel. it's the kind that builds up after you've tried and tried, only to be met with betrayal and indifference.
but no matter how things turned out, i know the love i gave was real. and maybe one day, ill find that love again. without all the fear. without the doubt. without the weight of being let down. but for now, all i feel is this anger. and i know this anger didn't come from nowhere. it grew out of the love i gave so fully and so freely. after all, this anger was once love.